Arigatou. Currently my comfort zone is college, and I don't go back until January 17th. For me it's still the 28th. 3 weeks. I always get depressed during breaks. I miss college, and I also have my Catechist classes that I teach, but that's not back until the 8th. I do stress myself out when I'm busy, but I hate it when I'm not busy. Staying busy keeps my mind off of hurting myself. When I don't have anything to do, I have too much time to think, and thinking is dangerous, because I always think of hurting myself.
I know what that's like. I don't hurt myself, but I tend to get into really big depressions when I feel like I'm being unproductive or when I have nothing to do. Even worse is when I'm busy with things that are fruitless (dumb gen ed classes, for example) and I have to spend all of my time focusing on things that don't help me, and even more to the point, don't help others. I always feel like it would be better to run away or die or something. I get spend too much time thinking about how stupid everything is and I put myself in a really dangerous place. I start sleeping all the time and fall behind in classes. This happens almost every year at the beginning of the schoolyear.
Since I know what the signs are, to keep myself sane when I start to get depressed (or when I AM depressed) I try to pick one event that I know is coming (even if I have to plan one myself) so that I can tell myself to keep going so that I can get there as a healthy happy person. This year it was my friend's annual New Years party.
GOAL: Have a kick-butt awesome time at Justine's party!
When I'd get depressed and start thinking really dark thoughts, I would read something meaningful, or watch a good show (often CCS) and tell myself that all I had to get through was so much time before Justine's party. And that got me to break.
Haha...I think I got a little off-track, but I guess all I'm saying is play hard and chin up, and remember there are people who love you (like me, even without knowing you ^_^ ) and always things to look forward to.