Funny product labels

[kudan]

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

And once when I went to a supermarket, I saw tins of carp with "Crap of the sea" labelled on it.

Post if you have any other funny product labels you want to share.

[Ashlee]

Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food
(But, I wanted to put it on my head)

Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
(too late for that)

Knife sharpening stone
Warning: knives are sharp!
(no, really)

Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
(well, no duh)

Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often

Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold
(Really, I thought it was hot)

[moezychan]

Hairdryer: Do not use near water
(Gee, I wasn't aware that there was an electric outlet near my tub)

McDonald's coffee cups: Caution contents may be hot
(It never occurred to me that coffee would be hot)

Ganier Fructis Long & Strong Shampoo: Do not swallow
(Why not?! I wanted to shampoo my tounge so it would be long and strong!)

I'll add more later.

[cardcaptor~x]

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Box of Frosted Cheerio's
The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."

A Battery

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use."

ill find or think of more later

[littlekitty]

Label on a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not stop chain with hands or genitals.

(Were they having a problem with this somewhere...?

On Children's Cold Medicine:

After taking this, do not drive or operate machinery.

(Wow, so many six year olds would prevent accidents if they'd stop using the forklifts and backhoes while they were taking cold medicine....)

[kudan]

Not so sure if any of these are repeated...

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

[Ashlee]

Chair cautions
 Do not use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.
(.....ya, there nothing to say here.....)

On a birthday card for a 1 year old
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
(where can I get a card for ages 36 months or less)

On a string of Christmas lights
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(no, I was going to send them to another dimentions)

On the packaging for a wristwatch
Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants
(I wonder who were the test dummies)

[Arcademan]

McDonald's coffee cups: Caution contents may be hot
(It never occurred to me that coffee would be hot)

Well, someone didn't think that, spilled it all over her, sued McDonald's for millions and WON!!!. That's why the warning is now on all McDonald's coffee cups and hot beverages.

[Ashlee]

Well, someone didn't think that, spilled it all over her, sued McDonald's for millions and WON!!!. That's why the warning is now on all McDonald's coffee cups and hot beverages.

What really, that is crazy.

Here are some I found.....

On a can of self-defense pepper spray
May irritate eyes.
(well that is why I buy it)

On a package of silly putty
Do not use as ear plugs
(but it works better)

A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm
Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death
(Ya, like I can fit in it)

Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
(Wow, I wonder how much this guy got paid for that)

Instructions for an espresso kettle
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position
(Where is the 'on' switch!!)

[cardcaptor~x]

i have some more here

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Car Manual
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.

 Warning on fireplace log:
Caution -- Risk of Fire.

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

[Ashlee]

Im having a Jumbo Mr. Freeze, and it says "Peanutt/nut free o.O

[Arcademan]

Road signs can be humorous as wee. I still get a kick out of the ones that say:

"SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING!"

That's just plain mean to announce that the children in the neighborhood have some sort of mental problems

[charcoalz]

Hahaaa, here are some pretty funny ones:

On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

On the label of Boot's "Children's" cough medicine - DO NOT DRIVE A CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

Label on a Marks & Spencer's Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron - DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

hahaha

[Ashlee]

On packaging for a Rowenta iron - DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

I was just wondering....how did they come up with that labels 

[kudan]

I was just wondering....how did they come up with that labels 

Maybe someone was stupid enought to do that, sued them and won the case? ^^

[Ashlee]

Maybe someone was stupid enought to do that, sued them and won the case? ^^

Yah. Isn't it werid on how some people can win cases becasue of their stupidy. Its just odd in my books.

[charcoalz]

yaaaaaah...i remember once, there was this woman put who her CAT in the microwave to DRY it after it took a bath <_<"""" and of course, the cat was like, cooked...
and she sued the company for not putting it in the instructions...<_<" and she won the case
which is insanely stupid.