Advice Column: Ask Away~ ^^

[cblossom]

I think its good if u chose what u think is best for u. I know that ur getting advise to a girl how is going into 8th grade soon  but I would still pick what is best for u and what u want to pick.
Thats the only thing that I came up with I hope that the advice that other ppl give u and I works if u take it.

[Miss Jenni-Maie]

New problem!
See, my brother, Mark, who is now 19, is a Schizophrenic. He goes through insane mood swins, and he says he even hears voices sometimes. Because of all this, he's kind of gone into a loner type personality where he doesn't want to be around anyone because he's afraid of what people might think of him. He even dropped out of Highschool! He says he's going to try and change..he even took over my moms job at the church (custodian), but even then he's struggling.
But my question isn't about him. He's been like this for a while now....at least  4 or 5 years.
Everyone is always telling me how much I'm like Mark personality wise. And I'm starting to believe it. My mood swings are terrible! I'll retaliate at anybody! Hell, today I called my Math teacher a nazi just because he asked me to turn off my music! My insecurities are resurfacing, I don't want to be around people anymore (hence my loner talk the past few days) because either I'm thinking about how big I am, how mucked up my face is, or how frizzy my hair is... Usually I never cared about that, but now it's just overwhelming me. I'm "suffering" from malnutrition because I was starving myself and all I was drinking was diet shakes.
Sure, Mark wasn't going on about how fat he was (he's actually REALLY skinny!) But he was always talking about how insecure he was. I'm just more quiet about it.
I never want to get up in the morning (which is why I'm always late)....cause, believe it or not, I'm actualy afraid to go to school. I wish I was taught at home...less social expectations, ya know? I have panic attacks and I'll come up with some fake illness so I don't have to go....it just scares me, and I don't exactly have a comrehendable explanation as to why.
Then there's the drugs, and the drinking.... I haven't smoked pot in a couple of months, but (I think I remember telling some people about this) I caved with the drinking after 5 months of being sober about 2 or 3 weeks ago. It's tempting to just give up completely and just sit in the corner of my bedroom in a cloud of smoke and booze.
Ahh, but just when I thought I couldn't go anymore nuts...well what's this? Whispers in my head? Oh yes. Started about a week ago. At first I thought it was because I was sleep deprived, but then after getting a full nights sleep...I heard them again, except they were actually talking...course, they weren't comprehendable, but still. Voices! I think that's what is setting me off all the time. Because my so called "friends" are talking (and by that I mean, interrupting me whenever I try to say even the smallest thing), and then the "head bunch" are going nuts in my brain and it's stressing, so I'll just snap at whoever is around me. Or just walk off and wallow.
I haven't really told anybody about the voices thing. Even my mom doesn't know. Hell, she doesn't know about any of this (err...except when she caught me drinking that one time...but she didn't say anything about it). I want to tell her, but I see how she cries all the time about Mark and I don't want to add to it.
Say I'm overreacting, but I felt I had to get this out. And if anyone can help, I thank you in advance.
Sorry for rambling...

[cblossom]

Hi Endoh Ill try too help I dont give the greatesst advice but Ill see how it goes....

If you need help telling your mom about this then you should ask your mom If you can talk to her when she isn't stressing out or crying and tell her whats going on. You should make sure your mom knows sooner or later because the later you tell her the worsser it will be . Just like this advice I don't think it went that good you could take this advice if you want or wait till somoeone else comes. I would wait. .

[looney]

OK endoh here's some thing i know.
Your not schitzophrenic, what you have is depression
You mood is altering a chainreaction in your system that can go on for years at a time.
It's a good thing your admitting your problem because that's your first step.
I know i sound all proffesional , but i've seen and gone through with this so many times.
Next you have you tell your Mom like c. Blossom said.
Then you should try to have the friends you have surround you and give you support.
If your not willing to tell anyone then that's ok. All you have to do is be around them and feel secure
Even if you don't want to have anyone around. force your self to go out and mmet someone. The mall The park anywhere where thee are people. Little by little it will pass. Trust me. It's hard but if you need support. I'm here if that's any consilation.^_^

[Miss Jenni-Maie]

Thanks, you two. It helps knowing there are some people that care.
I did tell my mom...er..kinda...my brother had another one of his episodes tonight and I told her that I was afraid I was going to turn out like him since some of the same things I feel are happening to me. She just said that it wouldn't, and kinda blew me off. Which I understand since I wasn't the one that was throwing rocks through the car windshield at the time.
I'll try again later when there isn't so much commotion.
As for the friends thing....you wouldn't believe how many times I've told them or at least tried to tell them what is wrong with me, and they completely snub me. Or they think I'm joking and just make cracks at it. I don't know if they're just trying that "laughter is the best medicine" crap but either way, it just makes me want to punch them in the face.
As for finding new friends...that's also a problem. Since my mom is at that, "oh my teenage daughter is at that age of sex and drugs and booze" stage. So she won't exactly let me go out very often....without a friend anyways, which is exactly what I'm trying to find!
Blah, maybe I'll be able to sort this through my head once I get some sort of sleep. It's been a long night (cause having to call the Crisis Hotline is always a joy!)
Well, I already knew I was depressed, haha. Actually I'm going to be put on anti-depressants real soon (then the only on in the family NOT on them will be my dad, haha)....
Thanks CBlossom and Looney for your advice....it means alot to me.
Cookies for you both!

[lika-chi]

then i will personally fly over hehe to you endoh!!!!!

you won't turn out like your brother.. you're probably going through depression like looney said.. you know i had signs of depression all the time but i never am.. i'm always happy.. haha i guess..

as for the friends thing.. if they don't understand you i would just ditch them.. i mean what kind of friends are like that.. for the new friends thing.. try making friends that are ummm.. how would you say.. at your level.. something like you i guess.. and some with your interests are cool too... XD most of my friends all love anime and manga like me.. it's a great way to talk more with your friends. i heard that people should join clubs to find people with same interest. i don't know.. maybe you should give that a try.. i'm going to TRY to join sport teams next year.. and yea meet more people.. it looks like my friends meet lots of new people from sports or activities..

XD i have no idea what exactly i just typed up but haha i hope it helps sort of in a way. i don't think i even know what i typed up lolz.

[cblossom]

*cookies for Cblossom and looney*
Thanks Endoh, Ill as try to help you with your other problem.

My mom is like that to , I think half the world of moms are like that lol  .
Well like lika-chi said you can join a sports team or find somthing you like.
Or maybe you can open up to people and try to talk to them. Ok I think I sounded like a therapist when I said open up to people lol  . But it's worth a try.
If there is a anime or manga store around you them you can probally meet some friends there. If there are people your age them you can make friends with them too. .
Sorry if my advice isn't that good, I think you can take lika-chi's advice  .

[looney]

THankz hoped that helped. i know i can't really do much here but i try
Love you
Looney

[Okamirei]

I'm not really good giving out advice  ...I'll try my best
ano...like as the others said, it would be best to interact with new people. Local bookstores, libraries, parks, places with people that share common interests. No, you won't turn out like your brother, depression is a common phase in human beings^^. I
I...Don't think I helped. All I said others already said...sorry.

[Miss Jenni-Maie]

Nah, it's nice to have summaries of what other people have said...helps me get things into perpsective.
I think you will all be glad to know that I actually sat with someone during lunch!
And.....I actually had ...fun?
Wow, haven't said that in awhile.
We might even be planning something over the weekend. ^_^
Ahh...one step at a time...

[cblossom]

Yea Endoh!! She found another friend!!

[Ruby Chan]

Am I weird if I don't enjoy going out as much as other people? My friend always has to nag for me to go up town (unless there's a film I want to see!), because I just don't see the point of wandering round bored when I could be doing something fun at home.

So she keeps saying I'm boring...is that true? Just because I find staying at home more entertaining than going out every day?

[Okamirei]

no, people have their own opinions about what is more entertaining and what it not.

Yey Endoh-sama!^^ I'm happy for you 

[Miss Jenni-Maie]

Ahh! I was sooooo pumped about doing something with someone over the weekend...
....but I have dance recital!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [sobs] It's not fair, I tell ya!
Oh well, at least I was asked to do something....better than nothing!

That's exactly how I used to feel Ruby-Chan! I would think, "Ahh...I don't wanna go out. I'm just gonna hang around the house." That's kinda how I got into my moody depression though...but that's probably just me! Haha!

[mallow]

So she keeps saying I'm boring...is that true? Just because I find staying at home more entertaining than going out every day?

Staying at home does not means that you are boring. I love to stay at home or say always during weekends or school holiday. Probably you are like me  I can't miss my TV and Internet access!! This doesn't mean you are boring it is just like you enjoy staying at home like others enjoy going out. Going to school for 5 to 6 days a week, I feel it is the most wonderful time to stay at home ....... Lazy to step out of house.

But problem of staying at home tend to make your peers find that you are boring as you don't go out with them, it tends to distant away you from your friend especially when they go out as a groups on weekend you tend to miss the fun that group shares and makes you the odd one out and distant from their discussions. Worse is when someone in the grp doesn't like you after a weekend outing it is like 'brain washing' others in the group may don't like you too.... (Birds of the feather flocks together)

[looney]

so true honey.
but you do what oyu want to do if other peope have a problem with it then they should deal with it
i also like to stay home but it's nice to go out once in a while.

[Ruby Chan]

I have no prob going out every once in a while, or once a week...but my friend tries to drag me out every single day over the holidays, or on the weekends...sigh

But thanx for ur comments. I feel a lot better now. XD

[D.J.P]

and your friend is right in trying to get you to go out, there is nothing wrong with spending the day outside.

In fact, some young people should get out more often I think 

[libra]

If you go outside with your friend.., you easily feel more happy... mostly for young porson like you...

[monkey]

i agree, i may be stuck inside but i'd love to make some friends and go outside all the time one day ^^
get out this miserable dark room *plots escape plan*