Advice Column: Ask Away~ ^^

[Sya0ran]

Vex, I was just kidding.  XD  Ying Fa, its nice expressing how you feel.  Its that bad?  (your relationshp with him)   

[lika-chi]

haha although you guys didn't exactly give out advice for me.. HAHA!! i think we guys are saying to tell the person i like him.. is that it???

o maybe it's just directed to sya0ran.. hmm AH!! i'm too confused..

[Ruby Chan]

Ok, I have a new prob, one that I've been thinkng about for a logn time

My best friend often uses me, and says stuff like 'I won't be ur best friend if u don't......we're meant to be best friends, and a best friend would do that!'

People also say she's the one that destroyed my confidence, and made me so shy, by shutting me down all the time....

So what should I do? Should I ditch her? She's nice occasionally....

I'm so confused....

[Lexi]

I used to have a friend like that too. She just kept on using me whenever she felt like it and then leaving me to face my own problems whenever she felt like it   After a while, I started ignoring her and now we don't talk to each other. It's so much better without having her around ~  *I do whatever I want whenever I like now *

But I guess it's harder for you to do that, Ruby Chan, if she's your best friend and if you don't have any other good friends...

[lika-chi]

well i'm not really sure how you friend is.. so i can't really just say you should ditch her..

my best friend is like that.. but doesn't say that.. but she bosses me around.. and she knows that i can't say no to her.. i mean like whenever i go to her house after school or whenever.. and i eat.. she's like wash the dishes since i did that last time.. or like telling me to do all these things..

she can't be really mean sometimes..

but if she's truely a friend you can't find anywhere else don't ditch her.. i mean like maybe try talking to her.. if she doesn't get it through her head that you feel you're being used maybe you should ditch her.. or if she tries again even after she says she understand you should ditch her..

that's my advice.. XD

[Ruby Chan]

Hmm..good advice.

I have tried talking to her, but she blows me off, saying that I'm being stupid. So I am tempted to break the friendship off...except I've known her since we were 7, and she's the only one I feel comfortable talking with, even if she does use me.

[lika-chi]

hmm well try talking to her again.. and you should use that phrase back at her..

'if you don't listen i won't be your best friend anymore.. ' i mean like best friends are suppose to understand each other right? if she blows you off again.. tell her to stop and listen.. maybe use a bit of force..

[Miss Jenni-Maie]

Oh wow, I share the same problems with more people than I thought!
I have a best friend like that too.
She's been mooching off me since the 6th grade and has never done ANYTHING for me in return. She won't say that, "If you don't do this I won't be your friend" line but she'll do the "I promise to pay you back my bestest buddy!" line. 3-4 years later, I'd say she owes me about 300 dollars. Since I now no longer work (today was my last day JOY!) and all I have left in my account is 67 bucks (I had 500 in the begining of December...look how fast that dropped? Guess how much I spent on me? Only about 100 of it!) , I've been kinda hoping to get that money back. But now that she knows I want it, she's now saying crap about me and telling everybody, "What? I only owe her 150, probably even less! She's being so selfish right now! Besides, I have no money right now!"
And that is a total lie. She gets payed about 40 bucks every Saturday! I used to only make 15 every Sunday. Hmm, she's making more than me, and she is still making ME pay for her? And apparently I'M being selfish. Her other excuse was, "I'm saving up for Tay (her boyfriend [shiver] ) and mine's 6th month!" Oh please, they never spend time with eachother, and she's always off flirting with any other guy she sees! She's even done very disturbing things on my webcam while I was sleeping that I didn't know about until my brother walked in on her and told me about it.
She believes that it doesn't matter what she does, cause she'll always get away with it. My birthday party this year, she left half way through to go hang out with this guy she'd been talking to on MSN and she didn't even tell me, AND she took my shoes! She didn't even get me a birthday present, while I spent 50 bucks on hers in December! And on that day she totally betrayed all her friends. She ran off with her boyfriend in Sidney when she took us out to dinner (actually, she invited us out for dinner and expected us to pay for it all without even telling us, lovely huh?) and went back to her house and told her parents that we all ditched her!! And of course while we were all freaking out and trying to find them, I tripped and next-to broke my foot (it was like a sprain but worse...hard to explain). So when we finally figured out that she had gone back to her house, we walked (I limped) there and her step dad comes running out screaming at us going, "Thanks for ruining Courtenay's Birthday Party guys!" I was like, ".........You're freaking kidding me??" I was so peeved. She did the same at my friend Christine's birthday party except she took off at 3AM! At mine it was only 8 or 9PM. She also took my cellphone and, again, my shoes, and some of my make-up to go hang out with, here's the kicker, MY EX!!! Who, she says, molested her. HA! B.S!
Bah! Now I've just gotten myself mad. She steals, lies, cheats, just about anything. She also doesn't dress appropriatly for her "size" upfront, if ya know what I mean.
Wow, this has got to be the longest post I have ever...posted!
 But yeah, I have no idea what I should do because I'm sorta afraid to confront her about all this because she has a knack for turning everything you say, and all your friends, against you if you say the tiniest thing that doesn't appeal to her. Geez.
I was 133 characters remaining...cool. I'm going to shut up now! Haha!

[Tune]

i dont kinda think that a friend should be like that~ ....if the "friend" of yours treats you like a friend~

[Miss Jenni-Maie]

Well, I mean, besides all that crap we have a really good time.
But I guess I should just count my losses, forget about the money (since I KNOW I'm NEVER going to get it back) and just ditch the b to the itch.

The Cons list is just Waaaaaaaaaaaay too long. Compared to the Pros anyways.

[lika-chi]

omg endoh.. i share that same problem.. my so called best-friend 'borrowed' like more than $50 this school year.. and other people borrowed money too..

man i'm like probably over $100 short.. *sigh.. and i could have bought so much anime.. THEY say they're going to give me it back but so far i got nothing from them.. man and they KEEP on asking for money.. but now i'm saying no..

my best friend is always like that.. plus when she wants to borrow money and not pay you back, she'll go like can i SHARE with you.. man.. it just makes me SO pissed off sometimes.. ARG

[Tune]

i dunno...is it a different society? itz juz that ppl in singapore aint so bustling and socialable, so money loaning among students is....well, i've nvr seen such cases in singapore~

[lika-chi]

well i'm not sure if it's all of canada.. but in toronto a lot of people don't seem to have money.. i mean like i'm positive that everyone in my school has either borrowed or leant money to/ from someone..

i have done both of course but i pay them back.. XP

i want to start charing interest.. >.<

[Tune]

nice, and you'll start a bank soon and it'll become a multinational bank in the future, juz be sure to charge me low interest~ *cough*

then again....you can ask your friends to sign contracts for loaning...you know, or fingerprints on the contracts so you can claim back your money or approach their parents when they keep refusing to pay. do it calmly and seriously. perhapes the prob now is even gettin the original amount back...then you can add the interest if that's fufilled~ or you can get them to pay by installments but i'm way over my head~

[lika-chi]

haha.. a contract seems a bit extreme don't you think?? well the person who owes me around $50.. i can tell her parents because they're close with me and they don't know she owes me that much..

but then again she'll get mad at me and not talk for me forever.. and i hate that..

ARG that's why i hate it even more.. because she'll get mad at the littlest things that i do wrong.. i mean like if i don't go with her to her locker she'll get mad.. or if i don't lean her money.. AH!! i'm going to blow up soon.. and she ALWAYS eats too much.. man.. no offense but she says she wants to go on a diet but she's not even close in talking step one for a diet.. man.. she eats like everything.. lolz..

[Tune]

*juz finish seeing the news*

well....your friend might be buying slimming pills like what i saw on the news...which aint good for the body...if you saw your friend doing that, it'll be better to stop her fr consuming more

now then...the prob of taking back the money by asking your friend's parents might end up on the wrg side: her parents might accuse you of lying and stooping to such lows to get money or such, coz if your friend decides to turn tales on you...well...that might be the conclusion and you'll have a tougher time getting your money back.... *in case of the contract, i'd say fingerprint & signature* imo the best course of action now is to strike at the source of the prob....that is knocking some truth into your debtors

[lika-chi]

whoo those are really good points that i didn't think of.. haha..

well even if my friend tells my mom, my mom will know that i won't do that.. because she's close with my best friend too.. and she knows what kind of person she REALLY is.. haha

maybe i will do a contract.. but they know they owe my money.. it's just that they NEVER have enough to give me back that amount.. *sigh..

[Miss Jenni-Maie]

I would SO LOVE to tell Shelly (My friends mom) all the stuff her "lovely" daughter has done AND how much she owes me. But, haha, Shelly tends to think her daughter is the Virgin Mary, so, it's not very likely that she'll believe me.
BUT I've thought it all through and this is what I'd SO LOVE to say to her right now.
"Hi Shelly! How ya doing? Oh yeah, your daughter sneaks out of peoples houses at night to either hang out with complete strangers she's only talked to online or guys she says has molested her. I really think you should tell her the fact that when she's over at someone's house as a guest the parents there are now officially RESPONSIBLE for her and if she's off running around with pediphiles and gets kidnapped those parents are gonna end up taking the blame for YOUR DAUGHTERS stupidity and selfishness."
"Oh, she's also stolen from me. Ya know, Make-up, Clothes, money, and anything else I could possibly think of. She dresses like a total "floozie" in public that makes everyone want to gag/vomit/throw rocks at her AND she owes me 300 dollars PLUS 85 for the cellphone of mine that she threw in the HOTTUB! It's actually 150 dollars but I'm being generous and giving her the benifit of the doubt that it was an accident. Just be glad I haven't added interest. Oh! And she's stripped on my webcam when I was sleeping. How did I know that? Oh, my brother walked in on her. "
"Err...maybe you should start thinking about disciplining your child so she's not so reckless. And maybe, JUST maybe, you could tell her the responsibilities of LOANING money and how you pay someone back when you take money from them!"
"Anyways, Shelly. I hope that everything I've said to you has gone to the heart. I really only came here to drop off all the things that Courtenay has left at my house and to get all the things she stole from me back."
"Oh, and next time you see Courtenay, if she isn't out on the streets in those disgustingly high stilletos and her "way too low for a flat chested person" shirt, scouting for pediphiles right now, could you tell her that we aren't friends anymore and that she should rid the world of her petty existance by hanging herself? Thanks, Shelly! Buh-Bye!"

I would be swearing, but I'd like to censor it for Shelly's sake.
Haha, I would SO LOVE to say that. But my loverly mommy says that if I don't get the money back she'll be calling Shelly since I've been upset about it for so long (I actually cried when I saw my account balance). Not that I'm obsessed with money or anything. I just have things I'd like to save up for like, Oh I don't know, A FUTURE!!!
Geez.
Oh, sorry for the yelling....I'm just sooo angry.

[lika-chi]

whoo.. that's such an awful person.. haha i would go up love to go up to her mom and start saying all those things too..

man i think her daughter really needs to learn.. she's just too unreal.. and does too many things.. but if the mother doesn't believe you then it's going to be her fault in the future when something bad happens to your friend.

my friend isn't as bad but still does things she isn't suppose to do.. i swear that my friend could become as bad as your endoh.. if she was more 'pretty' i guess she would totally be like that.. man.. i don't even want to imagine it.. it's just gross..

but if i told her mom.. her mom would believe me and stuff.. she trusts me more than her own daughter because she gets into so much trouble it's not even funny. and she's not well behaved most of the time.. i don't get these people..

[Ruby Chan]

Be acreful if you do that....you may think that her mum trusts you more than her daughter, but that's what she will always be...HER daughter. There are some types of bond that just sty strong, and she may feel pressed to defend her daughter, because she may feel that you're questioning how she's brought her up....

If you do tell her, be careful how you word it, so it doesn';t backfire