Topic: How to deal with the aftereffects of a breakup (Read 7404 times)

Konata Izumi · « **on:** July 12 2006, 02:38 pm »

Ok heres the thing...

Me and my gf broke up, because of our misunderstandings and differences, and she cant forgive me for thta... Now all week long, my friends + parents tell me to move on in life... So I did, but I cant shake her off of my head, and memories of her are in a way still stuck with me... I just came of an emotional roller-coaster last week, and I just wanna know your thoughts....

What should i really do to completely ease my pain?

Strawberry · « **Reply #1 on:** July 14 2006, 04:51 am »

Poor you and I know how it feels *hugs* I'm not the best person to give advice, but my advice is to hang out with your best friends and enjoy yourself. I think that can make you forget about your pain because you will feel happy hanging out with your friends.

I got a friend who had a similiar problem, but his problem was different. He likes this girl over on the interenet and the girl likes him too. They both have been talking for over 2 years but never meet each other, but now the girl never been on the net for almost a year and he can't get over it. Myself as one of his best friends try to help him get over it and forget about it by making him happy and keeping him company so he will have friends to support him. Your friends should do the same ^^

Good luck and hope your pain will fade,

princesslore · « **Reply #2 on:** July 14 2006, 01:57 pm »

Well.... it depends... on BOTH of you

I know how you feel.... sniff....

I mean, you need to take enough time for you, some times takes weeks... sometimes takes months... years... Say, you can try many things, like meeting other girls like Heero said.

In my case, it took 2 years... (yeah... the hell..) but don't give up. This things are for you to get stronger. And the best thing of it, you'll feel happier than before, when you finish this "duel". Take your time... have fun... find peace.... But, I think noone can tell you how does your heart feel, and what does it need but you. Take your time to listen. And I also think, crying is a great way to heal the pain. You'll feel better.

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

xOLight_AngelOx · « **Reply #3 on:** July 14 2006, 02:08 pm »

Well i'm not sure if i'm much help because i never had a bf before. i know it might be hard to forget someone you love but heres a piece of advice that my brother told me "time heals all wounds". my brother told me that when he was suffering from well.... love. well i hope that helps i don't have much experience

.

Sya0ran · « **Reply #4 on:** July 14 2006, 02:18 pm »

Just move on with your life no matter if everything reminds you of her. I've had 4 boyfriend's before and each of them inflicted pain (emotionally, mind you) on me that I didn't think I could move on. It took me about a year each to get over each of them and move on and what I did was hang out with my friends.

Do the usual things I did before I went out. I think you should do the same thing but as Princesslore said, it takes time for each person to heal and it depends on them. Just enjoy your life and live it to the fullest. That's all the advice I can offer you. =/ <3

*glompage like whoa* I wish you the best of luck~

Smile_For_Me · « **Reply #5 on:** July 14 2006, 03:45 pm »

I know how you feel, at first I was sad, then mad, but you get over it, you will find your one person some day, lets see, I was 14 when I had my heart broken by the boy who I cared for deeply, and that was my first time I ever had someone do that to me, resulting in me crying, which I never did becasue of where I grew up when I was a kid, crying was considered a weakness where I came from, but with this came sad and bad written poetry which I laugh at today, but as the years went on, and I moved, I had found someone else I cared for too, 17 and in love with the Prom King, but even though I did care for him we where just friends, saddly, and he went out with a friend of mine, and I tell her she can have him, because even though we did like each other back then, we would still be friends afterwards without sad memory's. Then there's my dad, sets me up on blind dates, I don't know how guy's deal with blind dates your parents set up, and us girls go crazy, because we don't even know the person for crying out loud, my 1st blind date was at a taco Bell, and all he talked about was Raido's, and when I said Halo...Anime....Real Life...he was like "what's that?" 0....0
After that I told my dad never to do that again, but sets me up for another, and you know what, the next guy wasn't that bad, I've known him for 6 months now, he's the biggest flurt ever, and I have never even seen him, he's a nice boy over sea's protecting America...and I have another year and 6 months to see him. And when I think of this person, he makes me forget about the 1st person to break my heart, and I look back at the boy who did, if I could see him again, I'd thank him for doing so, because I wouldn't have gotten where I am today if he hadn't breaken my heart, I would have staying thinking, what if most of my life.

So someday, when your heart is back together, and you have the person you care for the most, and she cares for you, you can look back and see what you would have missed if your 1st GF hadn't hurt you in the 1st place............

umm, yeah, I guess thats a little to mushy, but I do hope this helps, because this is not the end of the world....

jocelin · « **Reply #6 on:** July 15 2006, 12:18 pm »

Hang out with your friends is the best advice I think...
I've been at your situation before and my friends were my saviour at that time.
It's not easy tough, but try to move on OK...
Wish you find the right person soon, just like Syaoran said to Sakura that surely someday she'dÂ find a person who really loved herÂ

Also wish you good luck & get well soon.

Chang · « **Reply #7 on:** August 12 2006, 12:37 pm »

awwww

i hope ur okies now. u should have ur friends with u after any breakup. try to avoid the person u've just broken up with as much as possible. it'll be hard but it's the best thing to do to get them off ur mind. also, talk it out. don't bottle up ur feelings coz it'll make u feel worst. anywayz, good luck ^_^

~Emethyst~ · « **Reply #8 on:** August 12 2006, 11:15 pm »

Seems that my post is too late...

Anyways!

When you've just experienced a break-up, do the following:
1)Never, I'm emphasizing, NEVER listen to love songs (esp. sad ones) They'll make you crumble

2) Hang out with your friends. The more adventurous trip, the better

3) Search for a new passion: try something new like cooking, painting or just about anything that you might like. It helps

4) Seek company, especially with your family. They help ease your pain.

That's all I can give..

Sorry if it's not that extravagrant or so..

Good luck on finding a new love! *cheers on Elysia*

Chang · « **Reply #9 on:** August 13 2006, 11:06 am »

haha, yeah number 1 is soooo true. all through my first breakup i was listening to sad "breakup" songs and it made the whole situation worst

~Emethyst~ · « **Reply #10 on:** August 13 2006, 10:30 pm »

^ heh... I've seen a couple of people doing that

Instead of letting go, they still cling on to the lost love Xp

Chang · « **Reply #11 on:** August 14 2006, 04:33 pm »

yeah that's my biggest problem at the moment... letting go. it's been like four-ish months since my breakup and i'm still clinging onto my xbf. lucky thing is, we're still good friends and i don't think he minds me clinging onto him.

i do miss our time together though...

~Emethyst~ · « **Reply #12 on:** August 15 2006, 03:22 pm »

Well that is depressing. Because the more you cling to him, the more you'll miss the times you two have been together... But I'm not saying that being his friend is a bad thing..

Konata Izumi · « **Reply #13 on:** August 15 2006, 05:22 pm »

hehe... thanks for all the advice guys... I kinda felt much better now and I can move on... *and exams are a few days away... omfgwtfxxoroflmaozzz o.0;;;;* ^_^

Sailor Yue-chan · « **Reply #14 on:** August 15 2006, 05:58 pm »

i know how you feel (felt?) in a way...valentines day in 2004, a "friend" of mine decided to play this joke and faked his death. it got me devistated. then he came back the next day and apologized for it, and i was happy. then 2 days after, he told me off for soemthing i said in my mourning. talkabout a rolor coaster

thankfully i found a new freind. talking with your friends, those who CARE and dot tell you to move on straight away, they can help you thru this. this freidn of mine, who helped me, saed me from depression. really, when your at your saddest, talking to your closest friends is the best way to go.

Konata Izumi · « **Reply #15 on:** August 15 2006, 06:06 pm »

yeah... I suppose.... Thanks... ^^

Chang · « **Reply #16 on:** August 15 2006, 07:15 pm »

Quote from: ~Emethyst~ on August 15 2006, 03:22 pm

Well that is depressing. Because the more you cling to him, the more you'll miss the times you two have been together... But I'm not saying that being his friend is a bad thing..

yeah i kno it's depressing. but the feeling's really hard to control. my mind definitely says to "let go" but somewhere else in me it's telling me to "hold on". and it's really really annoying

Quote from: Elysia Silvermoon on August 15 2006, 05:22 pm

hehe... thanks for all the advice guys... I kinda felt much better now and I can move on... *and exams are a few days away... omfgwtfxxoroflmaozzz o.0;;;;* ^_^

YAY!!! ur okies now

that's good. extra hug for u just in case anything else happens

Celestial · « **Reply #17 on:** August 15 2006, 07:46 pm »

The easiest other way is to find something to ammuse your mind. Its like trying to fill a gap that suddenly appeared in your heart. Time does heal all wound.....eventually. But positive thinking is an instant cure.

I hope that helps

AZ

Chang · « **Reply #18 on:** August 17 2006, 10:32 pm »

Yeah, I've tried to find something amusing... but it only works for a short period. Well, when I tried it, it only worked for a few hours then after that I was back to my depression

Wolf Blossom · « **Reply #19 on:** August 20 2006, 12:13 pm »

This isn't exactly a break-up but the guy was leading me on giving me all these signals saying he wanted to go out with me....he asked me out and well i like him and i said yes...he stood there then hes friends came out lauhgin there heads off saying God i can't believe you fell for that...i ran away of course...i tried being with friends people that make me happy...but Surprisingly they're all busy what am i suppose to do now???

Chang · « **Reply #20 on:** August 20 2006, 06:21 pm »

OMG!!!!!! that was soooo mean of them for doing that

If I was in that position, I'd stay strong and try to forget about what happened. With regards to your friends being busy, why don't you try finding online friends.

It worked for me and it kept me busy and talking while my real-life friends were busy.

Sailor Yue-chan · « **Reply #21 on:** August 20 2006, 06:35 pm »

Quote

This isn't exactly a break-up but the guy was leading me on giving me all these signals saying he wanted to go out with me....he asked me out and well i like him and i said yes...he stood there then hes friends came out lauhgin there heads off saying God i can't believe you fell for that..

guh. ive been delt that dozens of times in highschool

complete a-holes and morons really.

Necter Rain is right, as well as real life friends, make some online friends. their easier to make then real life ones in a wayy, cuz you really dont have to worry about how you talk or what you look like. you just have common interests and stuff like that

Celestial · « **Reply #22 on:** August 20 2006, 09:27 pm »

Quote

This isn't exactly a break-up but the guy was leading me on giving me all these signals saying he wanted to go out with me....he asked me out and well i like him and i said yes...he stood there then hes friends came out lauhgin there heads off saying God i can't believe you fell for that...i ran away of course...i tried being with friends people that make me happy...but Surprisingly they're all busy what am i suppose to do now???

OMI, that is so cruel. If somone did that to me i would be very upset. I hope you are ok.

SailorYue-chan is right. It is always good to have frends from online. You can meet many people of different cultures, and make some really good friends. You may find that people spend time online as they are in similar situations to yours, and you can really relate, and help each other.

My MSN name is, "Diamond rings get you nothing more than a life long lesson". Amazinly relavent ^^

AZ

Wolf Blossom · « **Reply #23 on:** August 23 2006, 03:55 am »

Thanks Guys you Made my Day!!! Alixis i didn't know who you were when i added you thanks! BE on soon ^_^

Celestial · « **Reply #24 on:** August 25 2006, 07:20 pm »

Kool. Its good to know i could help. I look foward to talking to you

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AuthorTopic: How to deal with the aftereffects of a breakup (Read 7404 times)