Tales of Randomness (chapter 3 is up ^^)

[Kuro-puppy]

Legal stuff

The jokes are a product of random MSN chats between Meowzy and me and may not be used for other fics or stuff.

I do not own Tales of Symphonia or any of its characters......well, i do own Kratos's shirt but that's besides the point.

Kratos: WHAT?! *shocked*

Author: Some girl was selling it on Ebay along with other stuff.....

Kratos: Those darn fangirls! they sneaked into my closet and stole my clothes....again! How much did you pay for it?

Author: Umm.......10 dollars.

Kratos: My shirt is worth at least 10 times as much! *loses control and starts throwing furniture across the room*

Author: Let's get on with the story quickly before somebody gets hurt! *gets hit by a stray chair and passes out*

Chapter 1: A kid more dangerous then the Desians

[/b]

*A narrator sounding very similair to Kratos starts talking*

Once upon a time, there existed a giant tree that was the source of
mana. A war, however, caused this tree to wither away, and a hero's life was
sacrificed in order to take its place. Grieving over the loss, the goddess
disappeared unto the ..............

*Boring narrator story gets cut and the scene changes to inside a school*

Raine: ....and that's how mana depletion began and.....Lloyd! wake up!
Lloyd: *snoring sounds*
Raine: *throws a boardcleaner in Lloyd's face*
Lloyd: *keeps on snoring*
Raine: Geez! that stupid kid sure is one heck of a sleeper.
Genis: Can I wake him, sis?
Raine: *sigh* Go ahead. But no fire magic! Remember last time?

*flashback*

Lloyd: *snoring sounds*
Genis: Can I wake him, sis?
Raine: Sure.
Genis: *evil grin* This will be so much fun! *sneaks behind Lloyd* I'm gonna put his hair on fire with my magic, that should do the trick.
Raine: Are you sure about this Genis?
Genis: Don't worry sis, i'm an expert when it comes to magic. FIRE BALL!!! *the fireball misses Lloyd and hits the ceiling*
2 random schoolchildren: Ooooohhhhh! Pretty lights!
Raine: Everybody get outside, NOW!!
*everybody runs to safety, except the 2 schoolchildren who were too busy admiring the pretty lights*
Raine: At least we've got fire magic insurance......

*flashback ends*

Genis: Don't worry sis! I'll use Tornado this time.
Raine: That's good then...... *suddenly realizes something* No! wa...
Genis: TORNADO!!!
*A giant tornade appears inside the class, ripping the school to pieces and scattering everyone across town*

*A few minutes later*

Raine: You're more dangerous then the desians, you know that?
Genis: Thanks sis!
Raine: That was NOT a compliment!!!
Random schoolkid #1: Professor Raine, we can't find Lloyd......
Random schoolkid #2: There he is! *points towards Lloyd hanging up-side down in a tree*
Lloyd: *still snoring*
Random schoolkid #3: He really IS one heck of a sleeper.
Raine: I hope my insurance covers wind magic......

END

Does Raine's insurance cover wind magic? Will Genis stop destroying things? And will Lloyd ever wake up? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of 'Tales of Randomness' to find out.

[Meowzy]

*giggles*
And where was Colette during all this? XD

Can't wait for Kratos to appear! And then Yuan... >D

[Tatasenko]

hey,what a coincidence,i'm actually on Tales of Phantasia,his big brother  !
(but i think that all the forum is already informed since i talk about it on all the topics  )

[Kuro-puppy]

i'm glad you like it ^^

Chapter 2: The Journey of World Randomness begins

*Colette comes walking into the scene and looks at Lloyd hanging in the tree*

Colette: Whoa, that's soo cool! I want to hang up-side down in a tree too! Can I professor?
Raine: ........
Colete: Yay! *climbs the tree and picks a spot right next to Lloyd* Lloyd....hey Lloyd, wake up!
Lloyd: .......huh?.....oh, hi Colette. What's up?
Colette: We're hanging up-side down in a tree, hehe.
Lloyd: Huh? Oh yeah, you're right......this is pretty cool actually, hehe.
Lloyd and Colete: THIS IS SO COOL!!!
Genis: Shall we just ignore those two?
Everyone: *nod*

*a shiny light rises above the Martel Temple*

Raine: That is the sign that the Chosen's Journey of World Randomness is starting. Everyone stay here while i go check on the temple.
Everyone: Okay!
Lloyd: *looking at Rain running towards the temple* Hey, shall we go as well? It'll be fun!
Genis: I don't know, sis told us to stay here.....
Colette: I want to go too!
Genis: No, we're staying here.
Llody and Colette: Pleaasssee? *puppy eyes*
Genis: .....Oh alright! We'll go to the temple. But first.......GET OUT OF THAT TREE!!!

*A few minutes and a really boring first battle, which was won because Colette fell on top of the enemy, later the three appear at the temple*

Genis: At the top of the stairs you'll find the Martel Temple, the....
Colette: ....biggest temple in Sylvarant!
Genis: *sigh* never mind.
Lloyd: Look! *points at a wounded priest coming down the stairs*
Old priest: Is the Chosen One among you?
Colette: That's me.
Old priest: Thank the goddes Martel you've come, the Desians attacked the temple!
Llody: What?!
Colette: Where's grandma?
Old priest: She's still at the temple *cough*.
Genis: Let's go!
Old priest: *looks at the kids running to the temple*.......i forgot to ask medicine for my wound.......*dies*

*meanwhile at the temple*

Desian Leader: Where is the Chosen?
Grandma: ......
Desian Soldier #1: Sir Botta, there she is!
Botta: huh? *turns around to face Lloyd and the others* So you, little girl, are the Chosen One?
Colette: Yup! *big smile*
Botta: Chosen, your life is mine....get her!
Desian Soldier #1 and 2: Yessir!

*begin battle*

*Desian Soldier #1 and Llody playing poker*
Desian Soldier #1: I've got Straight Flush.
Lloyd: And i've got Full House, I win!
Desian Soldier #1: 2 out 3?
Lloyd: Nope, I've won and that's final.
Desian Soldier #1: No fair! *runs away crying*

*a little bit further Colette and Desian Soldier #2 are playing Rock/Paper/Scissors*
Collette and Soldier #2: Rock!
Soldier #2: Again!
Collette and Soldier #2: Rock!
Genis: *sigh*
Lloyd: What's wrong Genis?
Genis: All they are saying is 'Rock!'......
Llody: Hmm.....*sneaks behind Soldier #2 and knocks him out*
Colette: Why did you do that Lloyd?! I was winning!
Lloyd and Genis: ............

*battle ends*

Botta: What a bunch of idiots. Where the hell did Yuan get these guys?!
Lloyd/Genis and Colette: Yuan?
Botta: *sweatdrop* You've heard nothing! *uses Jedi mindtrick*
Lloyd/Genis and Colette:......We've heard nothing......
Lloyd: ........What just happened?
Genis: Beats me.....
Colette: I feel all foggy in my head, hehe.
Botta: Vidar! Come here!
*Vidar appears*
Vidar: What is it?
Botta: Kill those kids!
Vidar: Yes sir!
Lloyd: Get ready guys, here he comes!

*boss battle begins*

Vidar: You're gonna take me on with those wooden swords, kid? Hahahaha!
Lloyd: Just you wait! *pokes Vidar in the eye with his sword*
Vidar: That really hurts you know?! Take this! *swings his chainmace around, knocking the three kids to the ground*
Lloyd: Damn he's strong!
Vidar: This is it....DIE!! *swings his chainmace around to deliver the final blow but the attack gets blocked by a mysterious swordfigher*
Lloyd: Who are you?
Mysterious swordfighter: We'll talk later, get up and fight!
Genis: Yeah, it's payback time! FIRE BALL!!! *the fireball hits Vidar's head and his hair catches fire*
Colette: Whoa....you actually hit him?
Genis: Yay! I did it!
Mysterious swordfighter: Stay focused on the battle! *charges Vidar and hits him in the stomach sending him flying down the stairs*

*the team does a little victory dance and then the boss battle ends*

Botta: Damn you! I'll remember this! *throws a Deku Nut on the ground and disappears in a cloud of smoke*
Colette: Grandma, are you alright!
Grandma: Yes Colette.
Lloyd: Now that the Desians are gone....just who are you?
Mysterious swordfighter: I am Kratos, a mercenary. If you pay me, i'll take on the job of guarding the Chosen.
Grandma: How much?
Kratos: 2 gald.
Grandma: That's a very high price you're asking....but I guess I have no choice. Here's the money.
Kratos: It's a deal.
Lloyd and Genis: Yay! Let's go inside!
Kratos: You two stay here, the temple is no place for kids.
Lloyd: What did you say?!
Kratos: You're not coming along!

*1 minute later inside the temple*

Genis: I've never been in the temple before.
Lloyd and Colette: BIG!!!
Kratos: *sigh* Why do they always have to use those puppy eyes?
Lloyd: Umm....which way do we go now? There are three passages here....
Kratos: The main passage is blocked by a door, we need a key or something to get through.
Genis: That leaves left and right. Hey Colette, which one should we take?
Colette: .....let's take the left one.
Genis: Okay. Then we're going through the right one!
Colette: Humph!

*inside the chamber of the Sorceror's Ring*

Lloyd: What's that? *points to a ring floating on a pedestal*
Genis: The Sorceror's Ring, it can be used for many things.
Kratos: It's probably the key to the door in the main passage.
Lloyd: *grabs the ring* Let's get back.

*after some retracking they open the door and enter the top chamber*

Colette: It's....empty?
Genis: Yup.....
Lloyd: Up there!
*everyone looks up to see a small glowing light coming down from the ceiling, which then transforms into an angel*
Remiel: I am an angel of Cruxis. Your task, Chosen, is to release the five seals and revive the goddes Martel so that the world can be saved from mana depletion. Got all that?
Colette: *writes it down on a notepad* .....Release seals.....revive goddes.....yup, i've got it!
Remiel: Good. I wish you luck on journey and....*looks on his watch*...OMG! I'm late for my date! *disappears with a pop*
Everyone: ........
Kratos: *cough* Anyway, let's go back.

*at the same time in Iselia*

Raine: Where are those kids? I told them to stay put till I returned from the temple. *opens the mailbox* A letter from the insurance company......

"Dear Miss Raine, we regret to inform you that your insurance does not cover damages caused by wind magic.

Have a nice day,

Iselia Insurance "

Raine:.....damn......

END

Who learned Lloyd to play poker? Will Remiel make it in time for his date, and will we ever know who Yuan is? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of....Tales of Randomness

[Meowzy]

Mysterious swordfighter: I am Kratos, a mercenary. If you pay me, i'll take on the job of guarding the Chosen.
Grandma: How much?
Kratos: 2 gald.
Grandma: That's a very high price you're asking....but I guess I have no choice.

*cracks up*
I bet poor little grandma would have a heartattack if she saw the price of those toy weapons. Or the amount of Gald it takes to rebuild Luin...

Keep up the good work!

[Kuro-puppy]

Mysterious swordfighter: I am Kratos, a mercenary. If you pay me, i'll take on the job of guarding the Chosen.
Grandma: How much?
Kratos: 2 gald.
Grandma: That's a very high price you're asking....but I guess I have no choice.

*cracks up*
I bet poor little grandma would have a heartattack if she saw the price of those toy weapons. Or the amount of Gald it takes to rebuild Luin...

Keep up the good work!

I'm glad you like it ^_^

finished the new chaptre, it's a short one and not much happens really storywise.........i hope you guys enjoy it anyway *sweatdrop*

Chapter 3: Kratos's suicide attempt

*around evening the team arrived at Iselia Town*

Lloyd: I never knew angels go on dates.....
Genis: Me neither....
Colette: He reminded me of that angel i knew.
Lloyd and Genis: You knew an angel?!
Kratos: Pheh!
Colette: Yeah, he had those really cool marbles and then the marbles grew wings and....*keeps on talking*
Lloyd: I think she is lying....
Genis: Wel duh!
Kratos: What a stupid chosen.....i should have asked 3 gald instead of 2!
Genis: Hey, Kratos.
Kratos: What?
Genis: 2 gald is actually really.....cheap, you know? You can't even buy a Lemon Gel for that money.
Kratos: WHAT?! *shocked* I can't believe i've been so stupid, i'm a disgrace to the mercenaries....i-i'm gonna commit suicide!!

*the gang decides to move on while Kratos tries to commit suicide by throwing himself of a 2 inch tall stone. A few minutes later they arrive at Raine's house*

Genis: Sis is gonna kill me for sure!
Lloyd: Don't worry Genis, we're with you.
Colette: Yeah!
Genis: .....Okay *opens the door and finds himself staring into the redglowing eyes of Raine*
Raine: GEEENIISSS!! Didn't i tell you to stay put till i returned from the temple?! Where were you guys all this time?!
Lloyd/Colette and Genis: Umm.....
Raine: Going to the temple without my permission perhaps?!
Lloyd/Colette and Genis: Umm......yeah.
Raine: THAT'S IT!!! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!!! *takes out her wand*
Lloyd: Wait! What are you gonna do with th.....
Raine: PHOTON! *a blazing light knocks Lloyd and Colette into the air* And now for you Genis!
Genis: Wh-what are you gonna do to me?
Raine: Nothing. As punishment you are gonna do the dishes and since my insurance didn't pay for the damage you did to the school, i'm taking it out of your allowance!
Genis: What?! But that means i won't be getting an allowance for 200 years!
Raine: Serves you right!
Genis: *sob*

*at the same time in a nearby tree*

Lloyd: Phew, talk about magic!
Colette: It was really pretty!
Lloyd: Um.....Colette?
Colette: Yeah?
Lloyd: Are we hanging upside-down again?
Colette: I think so......yay!
*at that time Kratos, who gave up on trying to commit suicide, walks by and spots the two*
Kratos: Where's Genis? And what the hell are you doing hanging in that tree?!
Lloyd: The professor got really mad and knocked us in this tree. And Genis is still with her......
Kratos: ......Just get out of that tree!
Colette: *whiney voice* But it's cool hanging upside-down!
Kratos: It is?
Lloyd: Yeah, why don't you try it too?
Kratos: Um, okay. *climbs the tree and picks a spot next to Lloyd*
Lloyd and Colette: THIS IS SO COOL!
Kratos: Hmm.....hanging in a tree......

End

Will Genis ever finish washing the dishes and from whom did Lloyd get that strange habit of hanging upside-down in trees? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of .....Tales of Randomness!