TNA Impact! Results: 7-23-09Results courtesy of
PWTorch.com (direct link to Wilkenfeld's report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.
(1) HOMICIDE vs. SAMOE JOE (w/TAZ)
X Division Championship Match
West tries to sell on commentary that the X Division title was always important to the MEM, and that's why they went after Joe. Homicide and Joe trade single leg takedowns. Homicide rolls to the outside—Joe looks to follow, but Homicide doesn't stay still long enough. Joe whiffs on an attempted Plancha, then eats a Somersault Plancha of Homicide's. The fight rolls back into the ring. Homicide tries to charge Joe in the corner, but gets Ura-Naged for his trouble. Joe hits a knee drop. Homicide creates a bit of distances with some kicks, but when he comes off the ropes he walks right into a Snap Slam for two. Joe, in an attempt to make his offense more boring, locks in an Abdominal Stretch. Homicide slips out and goes for some right hands and clotheslines, but Joe no-sells them all. Eventually Homicide takes Joe off his feet with a Spinning Elbow, but only gets a one count. He hits a Tornado DDT off the top rope, which is at least enough for a two count. Homicide looks for something or other (he was in a Rock Bottom position), but Joe just flips him over in a Suplex. He works over Homicide in the corner, so the ref tries to pull him off. Joe slugs him. Homicide takes advantage of the distraction to go for the Gringo Killer. Joe fights it off. Homicide looks for a Gringo Cutter, but Joe catches him in a Kokido Clutch. The ref comes around, and sees Homicide, then calls for the bell. Joe, being a moron, thinks he's won. Really, the ref has called for the DQ.
WINNER: Homicide by DQ in five minutes. That was a nice taste of what these two could do with a real match.
(2) AMAZING RED vs. KEVIN NASH (w/JENNA MORASCA)
Legends' Championship Match
Don West is sarcastically selling what a challenge this will be for Kevin Nash—how awesome will it be if Red wins. Nash invites Red to get in the first shot to start. Red does so with a quick flurry, and Nash seems a little rocked. He lifts a knee, and Red goes flying. Nash takes Red into a corner and hits some more knees. He takes a moment to pose, the flings Red across the ring. Red gets up trying to kick Nash's legs out from under him, but Nash just whacks him with another knee lift and nails the Jackknife. The crowd chants for him to do it one more time, but instead he just drives Red to the ground and gets the cover. I think that was actually an improvised spot, since he realized that a second Jackknife would get cheers.
WINNER: Kevin Nash in 2 minutes. Why are they treating Amazing Red as a jobber?
(3) SCOTT STEINER & BOOKER T (w/SHARMELL) vs. BIG ROCCO & SALLY BOY
It would be less awesome if the MEM lost this one. Booker toys with Sally a bit to start, then lays in with some chops. Steiner tags in and stomps on Sally some before hitting his Do-Se-Do Suplex. He lures Rocco into the ring with a spit to the face, but doesn't do anything illegal while the ref is distracted. Booker tags in. Sally starts to fight back from his knees, so Booker pokes his eyes and starts working the chops again. He hits a Spinning Back Kick; Rocco comes into the ring, and Booker breaks his cover. He tags in Steiner, who hits a clothesline and his Pushup Elbow Drop. He hits some more strikes in the corner, but when he charges Sally gets a leg up and is able to make the tag. Rocco zooms across the ring, knocks Booker off the apron, and floors Scott Steiner with a Body Slam. He goes to the top, as the Impact Zone goes ballistic at the prospect of an upset. He hits a Big Splash off the top rope, which gets 1, 2…no! Sharmell pulls the ref out by the leg. Meanwhile, Booker comes back and nails a Bookend on Rocco. Steiner finishes him off with a Flatliner for the kill.
WINNER: Steiner & Booker T in five minutes. I don't know why this got longer than the first one, but the crowd was psyched by the end.
(4) TARA vs. ANGELINA LOVE vs. VELVET SKY vs. MADISON RAYNE vs. ODB vs. ALISSA FLASH vs. SOJO BOLT vs. TAYLOR WILDE vs. DAFFNEY vs. SARITA
The only women to get their own entrances are Kong and Tara. The match starts with some brawling. Taylor Wilde tosses Daffney out of nowhere, then Kong Gorilla Presses Madison Rayne out onto her. Slick Johnson goes to cradle Rayne. ODB gets tossed, but Cody Deaner catcher her and rolls her back in. Slick Johnson bans Deaner from ringside. Taylor Wilde Back Body Drops Sojo Bolt out to the apron, then kicks her out the match. On the other side of the ring Tara does the exact same thing to Velvet Sky. That was a little weird. Kevin Nash strides down to the commentary booth.
Taylor Wilde and Alissa Flash were eliminated during the break, and we get back just in time to see ODB toss Angelina Love. ODB, Tara, and Sarita try to triple team Awesome Kong, but it doesn't work. She tosses dodges Tara, floors ODB, and drops Sarita to the match. They give up on that plan. Tara tries to dump Sarita, but she rolls back under the bottom rope. Kong lifts ODB onto the ropes, then butt bumps her down to the ground. Tara is facing off with Sarita in the corner. Kong kicks Tara and tosses Sarita back into the ring. Sarita lands on her feet and rocks Kong with a Springboard Dropkick, but gets tossed out for her troubles anyway. Tara and Kong trade punches in the middle of the ring. Tara goes for an Octopus. Kong tries to fight it off, and they end up both perched on the ropes. Knockout Lar Traci Brooks suddenly dumps both of them from the ring. Kevin Nash goes down to the ring and proclaims her the winner.
Winner: Traci Brooks in 10 minutes. There had to be a better way to spend that time. Nash emphasizes that Traci was an original TNA Knockout.
(5) ROBERT ROODE, JAMES STORM, AJ STYLES, ERIC YOUNG, & DANIELS vs. THE BRITISH INVASION, KIYOSHI, & BASHIR
Bashir and Young lock up to start, yet no one mentions them costing each other the X Division title a few months ago. Beer Money tag in in turn, nailing the Beer Money Suplex on Bashit, then using an interfering Kiyoshi as a battering ram. AJ tags in for some quick strikes, then tags in Daniels, who hoists Bashir up for AJ to hit with a flying punch. Daniels hits a Split-Legged Moonsault for two. He lands a few jabs, but is whipped into the Brits' corner where he takes a punch from Rob Terry. Bashir tags in Kiyoshi, who takes Daniels down by the ear then clotheslines him on the mat. Terry tags in and throws Daniels across the ring. He floors him with a clothesline. Daniels fights back with right hands, but Terry no sells them. He goes for a Cross Body Block, and he no sells that too. Magnus tag in, and Williams helps him hit a Union-Jack like slam. Williams tags in and they hit back to back strikes on Daniels in the corner. AJ has to break up the cover after Williams hits a Knee Drop off the top rope. Daniels whips Williams into his own partner on the apron, which gives him enough room to hit an Ensuguri and make the tag to AJ. AJ takes it to all five heels, eventually hitting a Flying Forearm on Magnus (who I guess tagged in), but all the heels jump in to break up the cover. We get a pier six brawl. EY tosses Brutus Magnus to AJ, but when AJ looks for a Styles Clash EY spins him around and hits a Pile Driver. Magnus makes the cover.
WINNERS: Kiyoshi, Bashir, The British Invasion (and sort of Eric Young) in six minutes.
(6) KURT ANGLE vs. MICK FOLEY
Keys on a Pole Match
Mick still looks sad on his way down to the ring. Angle and Foley trade punches to start, with Mick getting the better of the exchange. Kurt fights back with a European Uppercut and some right hands in the corner, but Mick regains control. Foley hits his charging knee in the corner. Mick starts to climb, but Kurt clips his leg out from under him. We get some more brawling, culminating with Mick clotheslining Kurt out of the ring. Foley tries to climb, but doesn't even come close before Kurt pulls him down. Kurt pounds oh him for a few seconds before trying to climb. Mick catches him on the top rope and brings him back down with a Superplex. That has to be a good idea with Kurt injured.
Mick ducks an attempted clothesline and connects with a Double Armed DDT. He grabs the artist formerly known as Mr. Socko and locks in the Mandible Claw. There are audible chants for Angle, and none for Foley. Mick takes Kurt down to the mat, where he seems to be out. He starts to climb, but the rest of the MEM run down to keep Mick from getting the keys. The ref calls for DQ. Wait, what?
WINNER?: Mick Foley by DQ in ten minutes. So the only way to win is to either get the keys or be attacked by an ally of your opponent—apparently.