Hanzu

[Qiara Koduki]

I once post this at KSS, but I want you all to comment it, so please comment.. 

The Characters!
Prince Shaoran Ruler of Sun Rise
Cold blooded loner of the team. His element is fire, but his heart is cooooold.  He could be miss understood sometimes. The only one who can understand him is Eriol. He couldn’t even understand him self sometimes.  More info,
The Burning Fire
All the hanzu of fire is the same. So these are their personalities,
Fire is always alone, most fires are burning alone, like in a candle or a match. There’s a few fire that’s together, if there’s a burning house or something.
When his little his our friend, when his big his our foe. If a hanzu is mad his not our friend (or at least angry or mean) when his little, his our friend. Don’t mess with fire! His dangerous.
Fire can sometimes be controlled, and sometimes go out of control. Just like a camp fire. If you didn’t use it very well and take care of it, the fire then go out of control. When hanzu of fire is mad, he’ll explode.
Fire sometimes get miss understood. Many people think ‘Ugh, a camp fire? I don’t want to get burned! No way I'm getting close to that,’ just like the hanzu, they’re miss understood. If you be careful, the fire won’t hurt you! Just like the hanzu. If you be nice to them, or at least not to bother them, they’ll be nice to you!
All the hanzu of fire is really a slow thinker, their reflexes is  really slow! Just like a fire, when a fire is spreading, they always spread slowly.
Fire makes smoke, and that’s how most people think there’s a fire. The people [predicted that there’s gonna be a fire. That’s how they got their humanitical powers, fortune.
Prince Eriol Ruler of Dark Land
The opposite of Shaoran, happy cheerful, good actor, a perfect human being. Except for a few things that include fire OR cooking. And for his eyes, too much reading.  More info
Sea always act differently. But it’s because he wants people to be happy just looking at it. The beach for example, looks beautiful. But who knows deep down under the sea? The sea always have something to hide. They have many surprises
Water can ‘fit in’ everywhere, just like the hanzu. They act different because they want to enjoy them self with the place they are now. Water sometimes can be really naughty. When you stuck your hand into a sink, the water goes around everywhere! And the hanzu sometimes plays trick so they’re not 100 % nice. Just for fun that’s all. Who doesn’t like a little of water? (Except for fire) By water, you can see your reflection,  that’s how the hanzu have their humanitical powers eye.
Princess Tomoyo Ruler of Moon Acris
Calm peace loving girl. She’s really polite, a 10 year old girl but have a personality like a lady. But that doesn’t mean that she cant do dangerous stunts.  Only 1 fear she has, heights.
The Elegant Earth
There’s only 1 type or earth. Earth are really gentle. They make you grow fruits, vegetables, and land for you to walk. The hanzu is happy to serve smile and help each other. Earth have a connection to mother nature as well.. The hanzu like mother nature and also peace. But not ALL of them are sweet and gentle. Deep down, in the bottom of the earth, there’s a magma waiting to burst out. The hanzu can explode (Angry way) and burst out everything they have in their mind. After all that, the hanzu is much calmer, and sometimes don’t know what they’re doing. When a mountain already burst out all their magmas, the mountain didn’t even know it. The mountain is back to normal. It’s not like it’s gonna explode more.
When you throw a rock, the rock sometimes crash into small pieces. When a hanzu’s confident is crash or happiness, it took a long time to get their happiness back.
Also, just because a rock crash, it makes them trauma to what will happen if they fall.. All of them are trauma of falling.
Just like at the above, Earth is also mother nature. The hanzu is also mother nature, they let nature guide them.
Earth can sometimes have caves. And in that cave, can make echoes. That’s why the hanzu have their humanitical powers voice 
Princess Sakura Ruler of Star Sirius
An ordinary girl, bur actually a royal princess. She’s a little extreme, but extreme does have limits. Opposite of Tomoyo, she’s not afraid of heights. Even in her castle, her room is at the top of the castle.
The Airy Wind
The hanzu doesn’t like problems very much, they want quickly as possible to get It right again. But the hanzu always get things through. Like air. If there’s anything on the way, they go trough with it.
Air likes to go anywhere, anywhere fits them perfectly. The hanzu like to go and have a walk, because they are wind. Likes to go anywhere the sky leads you.
How wind is full of spirit is because they’re like tornados. Tornado wurl around and around with full of spirit. And sometimes anger. But air doesn’t usually do that, and also like the hanzu.  Who knows what tornado think? There’s a chance they are mad, there’s a chance they are just want to wurl around in excitement.
There’s many types of air. And there’s also wind. There’s a softly breeze wind. When they are calm, the hanzu is like softly breeze wind.
Even though they’re personalities are still the same with their elements, even wind is afraid. That’s what describe a girl sometimes.
How they got their humanitical power is simple. Air is the type of thing that almost cant be heard. Except by the hanzu of course. Different then the other elements. They all can be heard. That’s why their humanitical power is hearing.

[Qiara Koduki]

Hanzukaru From The Palace
Prologue
There is a world called Galaxcius. Above it there is the Sun Rise, Darkland, Star Sirius and Moon Acris. The Sun Rise is been rule by a prince name Shaoran, Moon Acris is been rule by a princess name Tomoyo , Darkland is been rule by a prince name Eriol and Star Sirius is been rule by a princess name Sakura. Because of an incident, the four of them are all lost they’re parent’s. So, because they still babies when they’re parent’s die so they have to pick another king and queen. But, the four of them is still the ruler. And there is more to it, the legend said that Shaoran, Eriol, Tomoyo and Sakura  are called a Hanzukaru, or Hanzu. They have the power of four elements. That is fire (Shaoran), water(Eriol), wind(Sakura ), and earth(Tomoyo). If they passed out or even die, the power’s is going to pass to the one who take it out. So they are not aloud to use they're power even in private. But everyone don’t believe on any of them. So they never speak about them again. ..
The adventure begins.....
Episode One
Runaway Prince and Princesses
10 year’s later…
One day, Shaoran, Eriol, Sakura and Tomoyo is going to go out to their secret hide out that they made five years ago. Even though they’re not aloud to use they're powers, they use their power to build their hideout with their powers. Their hideout is underground. Tomoyo made all of it. And the lights is made by Shaoran’s fire. The water supplies is made by Eriol, and because its underground so that means no air so Sakura is in charge of the air. Actually, Shaoran and Tomoyo don’t have to breathe every time but Eriol need’s it and Especially Sakura because her element is wind.
They arrive at they’re secret hideout. Shaoran then sit at the stone sit (That’s what Tomoyo called it)  “So, are we going to practice about what Eriol? We master everything” Ask Tomoyo. “Well I don’t said that will practice right?  I’m thinking…” “Please don’t tell me it’s a bad idea, or one of you’re stupid plans that involve me being a bait” Shaoran cut what just Eriol said. “No, it doesn’t involve with you being a bait, I’m thinking… That maybe… do you feel like, want to be free? Well I do, I was thinking that maybe I’m going to break out of Darkland, so I have a plan to do it, but I need you’re help, are you in?” Ask Eriol. They’re not surprise. Because they feel the same way. They wanted to be free. Go to Galaxcius. They imaging that they’re free. It will be wonderful. “Well?” Eriol waiting for an answer from his three friend’s. “Well, I’m thinking the same way, I wanted to be free, so I’m in” Said Tomoyo “Me too” Said Sakura. “Well, I think you have a point there, so maybe I'll joined too” Said Shaoran. “Perfect!! Now, here’s what we do, Now Shaoran will be bait..” “Not again!” Shaoran cut what Eriol said. “Fine, Sakura and you will be bait, now, were going to do it at the castle of the moon, the closest castle to Galaxcius, now, I heard that Moon Acris is going to have a ceremony of the grand opening of the train to Galaxcius tomorrow right Tomoyo?” Ask Eriol. “Right the ceremony is going to begin at eleven am” Tomoyo explain. “So were going to do it at eight o’clock and let’s do it tomorrow” Eriol Explain. “Shaoran, Sakura, now I’ll give you a few thing’s you to do, now the two of you have to remember and act ok? Now Lets just hope this plan work” Said Eriol. They start acting because Shaoran and Sakura is a bad actor and liars the opposite of  Tomoyo and Eriol. Tomoyo is a good actor and Eriol is a good liar, the best liar ever had plus, Eriol is the greatest actor of all too. And in every problem’s he can sort it all with lies, or plans.
The next day…
Shaoran, Sakura and Eriol is visiting the castle of the moon. Eriol brought a big bag. Shaoran, Sakura, Tomoyo, and Eriol is going to start their plan. “ Shaoran, Sakura put on this wig and do just like we rehearse” Eriol explain. They put on the wig and put on the clothes and do what they have to do.
Shaoran and is going to disguise as a thief. Shaoran then slowly grab Tomoyo ’s crown and stole it (One of the plan) Shaoran ran to the station  that lead to Galaxcius, at the station Sakura do what she have to do, she connect the wires that Eriol told her so that the train can move, at the palace so that Shaoran don’t have many people staring at him, Of course lie. Eriol have to Give Tomoyo a signal and when Eriol give Tomoyo the signal like a blink. “Oh.. I think that thief just put something in my head, oh.. Its getting worse and worse… I nearly cant see anything, I need a doctor please” Tomoyo act wonderfully so everyone believe every word she said, “I think I saw a doctor just beside the station don’t worry I’ll get her safely I’m going to run as quick as I can because I’m a fast runner I better do this my self” Said Eriol “What why you?! She is in crisis condition!” Everybody protest “Oh, I don’t want to be bothering you, Oooh the pain!” Tomoyo then pretend that she is passed out. “I think is adrengotamakusdewquraus virus! If you think too much, and don’t get what you want, then its possible that she will pass out or even cant speak! Why don’t you leave it to me, I’m her friend, she trust me, please just do what she want” Said Eriol, Eriol then carry Tomoyo to the station. “And please huuhaahuuh that thief is not a bad guy, he must have a reason, Oooh” Tomoyo passed out again. And then Eriol start running and go to the station. Shaoran still running because he have to do the other way. Suddenly  Shaoran bump somebody. “Watch where you going Idiot!” Said Shaoran and run again.
After a few moment later Shaoran, Tomoyo and Eriol arrive at the station. “Hurry! Before everyone suspicious! Are you done with the wires Sakura?” Ask Eriol and lock the door. “Yes, but I’m not sure, I see the trail its very scary…” Said Sakura. “At least were on the train now, what now Eriol?” Ask Tomoyo. “I’m going to steer the train” Said Eriol. “I’m not really sure that I can go to Galaxcius safe if his the one who drive” Said Shaoran “Lets just pray that we can do this… because I’m not sure but I think this button” Said Eriol and touch a red Button and the train move. “It work! Wohoo!” Eriol so happy that he accidently push a green button. “WARNING! WARNING! EMERGENCY TRAIN ACTIVATED!” “Huuh?” “Eriol what did you do?” Ask Sakura. “I don’t know I just...” Suddenly the train move so fast that in only minutes they arrive at Galaxcius. The train cant be called a train if the trail is like a roller coaster with ups and down. The four of them go out of the train. “Hooray… were in heaven now!,” Eriol is so dizzy he cant even see right. “I feel so dizzy ooh” Tomoyo is very dizzy, but the one who is very very very very dizzy is Shaoran. “What’s going on? I only see one hundred and thirty seven Tomoyo’s, seventy two Eriol’s and thirty five Sakura’s no, seventy nine, no a trillion and eight” Shaoran is confused. “Well, I think its not so dizzy, Come on, lets go take a rest” Said Sakura. She is the only one who doesn’t feel dizzy. “Ok Tomoyo why don’t you make a save, no I mean a cave and we have to put our wig on Tomoyo” Said Eriol and give the wig and clothes to Tomoyo. “Ok, I’m going to change” Said Tomoyo and suddenly an earth is closing Tomoyo and Eriol like a wall. After that Tomoyo and Eriol come out from  the earth wall. “Now what?” Ask Sakura. “Were going to rest for a while, ooh darned! My clothes is upside down! I’m going to change again” Said Eriol and another wall appears and close Eriol again. “I’m going to build a cave now, can you make the lights Shaoran?” Ask Tomoyo. “Maybe we don’t need to build a cave” Said Sakura “Why?” Ask Tomoyo that going to build a cave. “Well, there’s a cave not to far from here, if anyone finds out there’s another cave, it could be trouble…” Answer Sakura. “Maybe you have a point there, I saw a cave near here too” Said Eriol finish changing his clothes. “Lets go to that cave” So the four of them go to the cave. After that they all go to sleep. The next day…
“Hey!! Wake up!” Someone wake the four of them up. There is four people, they look like eleven years old. The four of them wake up from their sleep. And there is four people starring at them. “Why are you here? Are you lost? The train is already going to Japan by now!” Said someone with a blue jacket. “Huuh?” The four of them confuse. “Where are you from?” Ask Tomoyo. “Japan duh! Where are you come from the sun?” Said that guy again. “Well I am from the…” “Were from Japan too!” Eriol cut what Shaoran just want to say. “Well, no point now, the train is all going to Japan… Why don’t you come with us?” Ask the girl. “ok…” Eriol answer. “Then lets go!... Wait a minute, you look familiar… I think I see you before” Said the one with the blue jacket. ‘Darned! I think that’s the one I bumped when I run at Moon Acris’ Said Shaoran to him self. “Bye the way, what’s your name? I’m Shu Haragaka” Said Eriol lie .

[Qiara Koduki]

“And I’m Madison Taylor” Said Tomoyo. “And I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m…” Sakura think of a lie because if she tell her real name they will be suspicious. “Her name is Akara Kanbiya, she’s a very shy girl” Said Tomoyo quickly tell a lie. “And I’m……..” Shaoran think quickly because he don’t know what his name is going to be. “His Zachary Avalon, and what’s yours?” Ask Eriol. “I’m Azawa, and she’s Ayako, His Uzake and his Hizawa” Said Azawa. Uzake wear a yellow shirt and an overall red jacket, Hizawa wear a red shirt and green jacket, Ayako wear a purple shirt, purple skirt and purple hat. “So, who is that four kids behind you?” Ask Sakura. There is four people that looks the same age like Shaoran and the others. “Them? They are the Hanzu” Said Uzake. ‘What? Is there even eight Hanzu’s?’ Said Eriol to himself. “Hey, I’m Hazuke, That’s Hikaru and that’s Ikada and that’s Kotake” Said Hazuke. Hazuke wear a yellow shirt, Hikaru wear a red long sleeve and white skirt, Kotake wear a glasses and blue shirt with white Pants. “Ok, enough introducing, lets Go to the market!” Said Hikaru. “You're right! Hey, is the four of you want to come?” Ask Ayako. “Sure!! That’ll be great!” Said Eriol. Then all of them go to the market. Galaxcius is all woods and only a few is city. And in the woods, there is no cars, just woods. “Psst, Eriol, Are they really the other Hanzu?” Ask Shaoran whispering. “No! They must be fakers! The legend says that there’s only four Hanzu’s! And the four of them is us!” Said Eriol again. “So what are we going to do about it?” Ask Sakura. “Why are you guys whispering about?” Ask Hizawa. “No, we only wondering.. What is Hanzu?” Ask Tomoyo. “Let me explain Hizawa, Ehem, Hanzu is four people who can control Fire, Earth, Water and Wind I can control fire” Explain Hazuke. “So, if you can control fire, can you give us a trick?” Ask Eriol. “Well… I cant do it if there’s no fire” Said Hazuke. “Oh, I get it now” Said Tomoyo (Of course she lie because she knows Shaoran’s fighting style) ‘His lying, if I want to use fire I don’t need a fire in front of me’ Said Shaoran. ‘Of course his lying! I know your fighting style you know!’ Said Eriol. ‘I guess we just have to shut up’ Said Tomoyo.
After a few minutes walking they reach the market. It looks traditional. ‘Wow I never been to a market before!’ Said Tomoyo. Sakura then look to a sign. “Hey! I want to try that one!” Said Sakura. “So you want a prediction Akara? I can predict to you know, I predict that you will in love someone with a black hair guy like me” Said Hazuke. “Yeah right, a guy like you cant even wax his own shoe” Said Shaoran. “WHAT?! Oh, and you have a A stupid eyes there because I have been wax my shoe yesterday!” Said Hazuke mad. “So where did YOU got the wax huh?!” Said Shaoran. “Now lets just go take a prediction” Said Eriol. They come in and there is twelve chair waiting to be seated. “Please come in” Said a lady. It sounds like a lady but they don’t know if it’s a women or a man because the a coat is covering the face. Then the four of them sit at the four wooden chairs. “So, who want to know you’re life is going to be?” Ask the lady. “All of us want know!” Said Uzake. “Well, I see a sword is going to cut trough you’re body” Said the lady. Of course all of them confused. “With these Samurai’s!!” Many samurai’s appear. “RUN!!!” Everyone run from the shop. “ I think I seen those samurai’s before! But I cant put my finger on it!” Said Eriol running. “Hey! Wait a minute! Why are we running? We can take these guys all out!” Said Shaoran. “I have one reason why we don’t do it, huhah One, are disguise will be discovered! But I think I have an idea! But, we have to make a trap for those samurai first” Said Eriol. Tomoyo made a big hole so the samurai’s fall in to the hole. They and then stop running. “Oh, my stomach don’t feel good, I think I see, a bathroom over there I’ll be right back, Shaoran can you come with me too please?” Said Eriol pretend to have a stomach ace. The two of them go to the hole that Tomoyo made. “Oh I think Eriol’s handkerchief is with me, I’m going to take it for him, lets go Sakura” Said Tomoyo and run to the hole she made.
A few minutes later Tomoyo and Sakura come to the hole. They see Shaoran and Eriol. “Tomoyo can you open the hole please?” Said Eriol “Ok” Tomoyo And then open the hole and a bunch of samurai is buried. “That one is still breathing” Said Sakura and pointing at one samurai. Shaoran grab the samurai that Sakura point at. “Who sent you here?!” Ask Shaoran. The samurai grab the sword and kill him self. “Darned! He kill himself” Said Shaoran. “Well lets just wait until we meet another samurai like this and… I think there’s something I forgot but I don’t know what,” Said Eriol. After that they come back too the place that the others are waiting.  “Hurry if you don’t want to be late to the ceremony, oh that’s right you don’t know” Said Hizawa. “Ceremony? What ceremony?” ask Tomoyo “Well it’s a ceremony of the castle of the sun, star, moon and darkness, and the Hanzu is going to meet them” Explain Hizawa. The four of them very very very surprise to hear that. “That’s what I forget about!” Said Eriol. He said it so loud that everyone hear it. Everyone stare at them. “I forgot about my birthday, its going to be at thirteen February, just go on” Said Eriol lying. They start walking. “What are we going to do now?” Said Shaoran whispering. “ I don’t know, but I think because we’re not there they will cancel the ceremony” Said Eriol. “I think that were gone rumor is spreading, just hope that they don’t heard the rumor” Said Sakura. “That’s reminds me, were going to be stopping by some place and rest for a few days, well in the map…” Said Azawa. “Our job is too accompany the Hanzu so if their in trouble were in trouble” Said Ayako “Yeah right, like were in trouble they will help” Said Shaoran. They continue to walk.
Next Episode!
“Tomorrow is like a fairytale,” Teacher Shaoran.
“You? Read fairytale book? Yeah right,” Eriol.
“It’s not me who read it! It’s you!” Teacher Shaoran.
“Me? No way!” Eriol.
“I don’t believe it!” Tomoyo.
“What’s wrong with fairytale? It’s just like any other stories” Sakura
“You like to read one?” Tomoyo.
“Why not?” Sakura
“Fairytales are for children!” Eriol
“That’s because we are one!” Sakura
“We’re out of topic here, class dismiss” Teacher Shaoran.

[Qiara Koduki]

How's the first episode??

[Qiara Koduki]

No comment? I guess because there's many un right words. There's some miss spelling is it? I guess I have to try even harder.

[Kasawa Lanford]

Its ok, the problem is that you are not paragraphing. It's making it exthremely hard to read.

Every completed sentence needs to be seperated or else it's nothing more than an endless wall of text.

[Qiara Koduki]

Thanks for the advice, I thought about it...... You all can see it in kss, so there's no need to post it here. I'll guess the moderator can lock this topic.

[Arcademan]

A shame you won't post the rest of it here since I'd rather continue it here than go to another site that I'm not familiar with. My stories were posted here along within several other sites so everyone can enjoy it without leaving. Something you might want to consider in the future.

Also...story is pretty good but the non-paragraphing is annoying. You may want to do something about that to make it an easier read to everyone

[Qiara Koduki]

Well, I guess you're right.