Sure he is afraid, why in episode 28...
nevermind..don't go to the het parade!
Yeah, it makes him seem that way in the anime, but I agree...I think the only description in the manga was ever that he got "pale" which could mean alot of things. I haven't read RG Veda, so I don't know anything about Ashura, but I think CLAMP is being intentionally vague on the nature of their relationship, and what exactly happened before Fai left Ceres...I still want to know about those bodies! The ones littering Ceres the first time we see Fai? I hope we are close to an answer.