Erm sorry to change the subject, but honestly, I missed you guys so much. I know I keep saying that I've had so much work, but it's true. Plus, really major things happened recently:
1) 2 of my friends were caught cutting themselves. At school. The principal suspended them "in order to get help". The guidance counsellor had a talk with them, and now one of the two are being sent to a treatment center somewhere out west because their parents believe they need professional help.
I was shocked. About them cutting themselves. They thought it was actually fun, better than the "hell" they were living everyday. I've had someone I know hurt themselves deliberately before, and it's hard watching them make that decision (I don't actually watch them cut themself). I try to support them because ultimately it is their decision, but it's really hard to understand. Anyway, that day I went home and cried and my parents keep bugging me and asking me what's wrong but I didn't want to tell them.
Actually, school's been really hard for me lately. I hate procrastinating, yet I do it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like such a loser with my homeroom class. I'm always the "outgoing one" in class, so everyone is always shocked if I do something wrong by accident. Actually, they laugh at me and shake their head. I hate what caring about what other people think of me. But even though I don't want to, It's like I'm always trying to live up to other people's expectations. Hmph.
2) Crushes are hard. I logged onto the computer and realized I could never be with my crush. I got kinda depressed and slunk off to my room where I kind of yelled into my pillow and cried. My parents didn't hear, and my sisters were too preoccupied with their University review stuff to notice anything. If they did, I would have to face endless repeated questions and interrogations until I squeaked out an answer. What's even worse is that today I went home from school alone again because my best friend (since grade 2) ditched me for her boyfriend. She didn't even tell me. I go to her locker, and everyone tells me she left with her boyfriend. She could've went to my locker and told me something! I was so angry and sad, I didn't even take out my walkman and listen to it on the way home like I usually do is my best friend has tutoring after school or whatever. I just kind of wallowed in my misery on the way home and laughed at these weirdo people trying to jump over the fence of a school. Anyway I forced my little sister to watch tv with me when I got home, which is very very unusual. I try to avoid her as much as possible. But hey, I guess misery loves company.
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