One used to be
What A Good Boy by
Barenaked LadiesIts because it describes how my life was with the one person i wanted to be with but couldn't. It has how when you go to school but nobody knows your there so nobody would care if you passed or failed. Its about wondering if anything in your life ever changes but it never does. Singing about telling this person that "I know it isn't right but be with me tonight" it had parts of where you've been wrong and you've made mistakes and your letting your emotions out by keeping your mind occupied or being creative. But it always goes back to how you want to be with someone. Then there is the pressures of when your young and how people look up at how good your life will be, Like they have you by the chains wanting you to do what they want you to do.... yeah...
I also used to have the theme of
Mr.Brightside by
The Killersnow everyone knows what this song is about right? When the girl you love is not with you and you know she is with someone else and your mind gets to you about thinking what they are doing. It drives the guy crazy about what she and this other man is doing and theres nothing he can do except put on his fake smile and fake being mr brightside. This song still reminds me of truly horrible things that have happened in my relationship. I still somewhat feel this song was sung for me.
Now these songs:
Best Wishes to you Black Lungs by
Less Than Jake and
At Your Funeral by
Saves the Day are both songs which I Personally relate to my hatred of all people who do drugs (now i know thats not what Saves the Day song is about, thats about his Ego but I Intrepret the song differently). Its like how if i came across someone who was in any need of these drugs i'd not help and be happy to watch them die. (flame me or whatever, i really don't care)
I also relate to the song by
Savage Garden called
Hold MeIt's basically when i'm feeling Weak and feel that i can't live up to what my girlfriend thinks of me. "finding it hard to be your man". I also listen to it when i'm sad and i need someone to be close to me and to hold me. This one describes me pretty well when i'm feeling like that.
Yellowcard -
Life of a Salesman and
Simple Plan -
PerfectThey are both contradicting songs but they both apply to me in different times.
First off the Yellowcard song is how i used to always think. I loved my dad so much. I was a Fathers Boy, (i kinda despised my mom) but I was always with my dad all the time. The song where it says "Father I will always be That same boy that stood by the sea And watched you tower over me" relates to me more because i actually was like that. My dad did take me to the beach and sea when i was little, One of my fav past times even. And like the song goes i always wanted to be like my dad. I thought he was the greatest, So Strong and so Together. He always used to tell me how proud he was and that he loved me
But nowadays it seems to be a lot like Simple Plan's song. My father and I have drifted so far apart its not funny. Right now I Honestly can not remmember the last time he told me that he loved me or that he is proud. Most i get is that he likes my drawings. But when i told him a year or two back that i kinda had a crush on a guy he just started to blank me and acted like it never happened. I still say things like that to this day, maybe joking but i can tell it makes him uneasy. When i told him my Girlfriend lived over 5000 Miles away he was joking about it like it wasn't real. When i managed to talk him into taking me to teh USA to see her (even tho we are kinda short on money anyway, he could see how adamant i was on seeing her) he kept trying to tell me that we'd only be friends when i come back home but i had to keep going into lengthy conversations about how she isn't Just My Friend, She Is MORE. That really upset me. He is dissapointed at me that I want to give up the only thing he likes in me too. For weeks now i've been trying to give up Drawing because i was not happy with it. We never really did anything together anymore too, We used to be so close too. But luckily... After my trip to America i sad how close my girlfriend and her mom were. And its what i've always wanted to be like. My girlfriend even told me and i know this already that i'll never be asl close as she is but i can always improve my situation anyway. So lately i've been working on it and trying to get involved more in his and mine life. How i did this was i had to tell him righ upfront. When i left teh USA i was very upset (if you didn't notice already) but i was crying for days on my way back and at home. and one car journey i asked him why he never even hugged me those days or asked me how i was. I told him i want it to be like it used to be. Now we've both started to do more together. And that makes me happier.
