Lets here your POEMS!!! hehe :D

[~Namine~]

ok, i looked all over this place for a thread where people can post their poetry, and if I put it here and there is already one please let me know xD but here is one of my most recent poems hopw you like it!!!

P.S. oh and I want everyone who writes poetry to us your work!!! I love meeting fellow poets ^^

Broken in Time

I have fallen, only took time
I contenplate the meaning
the reason for this pain
only to realize its my own mistakes
I continue to move backward
knowing not what I have lost
never knowing, never caring
what my mistakes would eventually cost
shadowed with the pain
I see myself broken
my soul shattering
untill I no longer realize
who and what I am
I fall deeper in the darkness
reaching for the light
he grabs my hand and pulls me through
my mind racing in all directions
I've come to understand my worthless soul
my sins hiding who I'm really meant to be
masking my heart and mind
my aura bringing upon darkness
to those i've come to despise
hatred within my heart
eating away at what i used to be
i feel as though I have no choice
I continue to fail and fall deeper
my broken wings giving no support
searching for God
looking for comfort
wanting to heal from all the pain
feeling it grow stronger
eachtime I reach forward
I see the light ahead of me
as part of my broken spirit
wanting so much more
accepting the pain and sinful nature
my selfish desire to belong
finding the one to help me through
I continue to search
and bring my soul to know peace
as I try to mend the pain
the pain my heart has come to realize
only broken in time.

[wishingstarx]

Wow, Starpheonix-chan, you're poetry is awesome! Very deep... Umm... I like to write poetry, too, umm....    I'll post it later...

[monkey]

bah, I tried to comment earlier but my PC died on me

Anyway, I was saying, I really liked it!
I don't normally read poems but sometimes I do feel like it and I do like yours, Although admittidly it is rather sad but what I like about it, Is to me I can see some hope in there aswell.
I like how it's written too, there are a few grammatical errors, but they don't show easily. Good Job

I did two pieces of Poetry (Only one of them I like) but I wrote them last year.

[~Namine~]

oh wow thank you both for the comment ^^ hehe here is another one I wrote, most of them revovle around my feelings, not really othe people but here it is!! oh and I have a ton more, i write poetry all the time so let me know if you want me to post some of my others ^^

“Shadowed Emotions”

You push me away
Blocking how I feel for you
Ignoring how and what I do
You say you care for me
And will be by my side
But yet you push me away
Your emotions are what you hide

I continue to struggle
With everything I am
Only wishing I could end this pain
Wanting you near me
Side by side
As one, just you and I

I want to let you go
Forever burdened with the love I feel
My emotions hurting others
I look forward to the future
In hopes that we could someday
Follow the same path
Walk together hand in hand

But I continue to think
Maybe my selfish desire
Would only cause pain for others
Including the one I love
So I've made up my mind
To walk by your side
And support you through the hard times

Even if we are not one
Just being your friend is worth the pain
I don’t want to lose you in the end
Never wanting us to part
And lead separate lives.

[wishingstarx]

I really like your poetry, Starpheonix-chan! You should write a book!�  �  I would like to see your other ones...
�  I'm working on one now for a school project, when I finish it, I'll post it here....
It's titled "As Time Goes By..."

[~Namine~]

I am interested in seeing your poetry ^^ here is one I did for school, it was for a book called "To kill a mockingbird" here it is:

 "Mirror of Darkness"
(To Kill a Mockingbird)

A hatred so deep, consuming our core being
spreading beyond to tose around us
we continue to move forward living in darkness
not knowing the fate that lies ahead
pushing what we know to be the truth away
we no longer realize the fate we have come to inherit
blaming the ones cursing their very existance
pointing fingers in the other direction
to those we consider not worthy
we go blinded by the influence of others
they become the fuel to our darkend path
we go unnoticed to even ourselves
we will soon come to realize our significant mistakes
our fate will bring fourth the truth and understanding
it will flash before our minds, far to late to change
but the ones we truely hate are infact ourselves

(P.S. ok sorry for all the spelling errors xD)

[wishingstarx]

Another great poem!�  If you ever make a book, tell me! I would definitely buy one!� 
Ok, here's mine...�  It's kinda simple though...

As Time goes On... I had to change the title to make it fit...

As time goes on
and seasons change
as months go by
and the weeks end
Thru winter's change
Past summer's rain
The years slowly past us by....

As time goes by
and the earth begins to age
though water still resides here
the leaves blow away
Thru autumn's change
and the new life spring brings
as time goes on...

As hope keeps us going
and faith keeps us still
as time goes on...

  So many errors here...
I'll post my other ones soon...

[Ando]

Starphoenix, wishingstarx, both of you have written nice poems. I should try to give you some constructive criticism as I know how important receiving such is in order to develop as an artist, but I cannot think of too much at the moment, except that you should fix (the however few) spelling errors that occour in your texts, as that highly will improve the look of professonalism.
Starphoenix, about your Shadowed Emotions... In the beginning, you mention how the loved one of the poem's narrator is rejecting his/her feelings for said person, but the rest of the poem deals only with the narrator's emotions. Not that that is wrong, but if I were you, I should consider developing this person's feelings or maybe rewrite the first seven lines.
wishingstarx: I may be reading it the wrong way, but to me it seems that the first half of your As time goes on has a rhythm to it, whereas the following half lacks that (or maybe has a whole other rhythm). Is that intentional?
I am only trying to help, so please don't get upset or take it personally, and most important, if you don't like my suggestions and think I am totally off track, you should ignore them, as it is, after all, your poem.

I too will contribute with a little something to this nice thread. It is one of the most recent of my works and I first intended it to rhyme, but that did not work out very well. Feel free to criticise, offer suggestions or whatever, I will be happy for your help.

He comes to my house in the hour of wolves
Concealed by the wild roses’ shadows
Silent as water on nights with no wind
But I am awake and awaiting

“Hush, my beloved, say not a word
Just open thy window for me
None but the moon will behold this our tryst
And I shall be gone ere the dawn”

He speaks of the darkness and people he’s killed
Thus making me tremble with fright
Singing me songs of his ardour for death
A bloodthirsty lover I’ve got

“A beauteous creature thou art, little lamb
“Thy fears whet my hunger, dear boy”
He whispers to me and then kisses my neck
My memory’s blank after that

[~Namine~]

Starphoenix, wishingstarx, both of you have written nice poems. I should try to give you some constructive criticism as I know how important receiving such is in order to develop as an artist, but I cannot think of too much at the moment, except that you should fix (the however few) spelling errors that occour in your texts, as that highly will improve the look of professonalism.
Starphoenix, about your Shadowed Emotions... In the beginning, you mention how the loved one of the poem's narrator is rejecting his/her feelings for said person, but the rest of the poem deals only with the narrator's emotions. Not that that is wrong, but if I were you, I should consider developing this person's feelings or maybe rewrite the first seven lines.
wishingstarx: I may be reading it the wrong way, but to me it seems that the first half of your As time goes on has a rhythm to it, whereas the following half lacks that (or maybe has a whole other rhythm). Is that intentional?
I am only trying to help, so please don't get upset or take it personally, and most important, if you don't like my suggestions and think I am totally off track, you should ignore them, as it is, after all, your poem.

I too will contribute with a little something to this nice thread. It is one of the most recent of my works and I first intended it to rhyme, but that did not work out very well. Feel free to criticise, offer suggestions or whatever, I will be happy for your help.

He comes to my house in the hour of wolves
Concealed by the wild roses’ shadows
Silent as water on nights with no wind
But I am awake and awaiting

“Hush, my beloved, say not a word
Just open thy window for me
None but the moon will behold this our tryst
And I shall be gone ere the dawn”

He speaks of the darkness and people he’s killed
Thus making me tremble with fright
Singing me songs of his ardour for death
A bloodthirsty lover I’ve got

“A beauteous creature thou art, little lamb
“Thy fears whet my hunger, dear boy”
He whispers to me and then kisses my neck
My memory’s blank after that

Hey thanks for the advice, I shall try and revise it ^^ and post the finished version again soon thanks so much!!!

[wishingstarx]

Starphoenix, wishingstarx, both of you have written nice poems. I should try to give you some constructive criticism as I know how important receiving such is in order to develop as an artist, but I cannot think of too much at the moment, except that you should fix (the however few) spelling errors that occour in your texts, as that highly will improve the look of professonalism.
Starphoenix, about your Shadowed Emotions... In the beginning, you mention how the loved one of the poem's narrator is rejecting his/her feelings for said person, but the rest of the poem deals only with the narrator's emotions. Not that that is wrong, but if I were you, I should consider developing this person's feelings or maybe rewrite the first seven lines.
wishingstarx: I may be reading it the wrong way, but to me it seems that the first half of your As time goes on has a rhythm to it, whereas the following half lacks that (or maybe has a whole other rhythm). Is that intentional?
I am only trying to help, so please don't get upset or take it personally, and most important, if you don't like my suggestions and think I am totally off track, you should ignore them, as it is, after all, your poem.

I too will contribute with a little something to this nice thread. It is one of the most recent of my works and I first intended it to rhyme, but that did not work out very well. Feel free to criticise, offer suggestions or whatever, I will be happy for your help.

He comes to my house in the hour of wolves
Concealed by the wild roses’ shadows
Silent as water on nights with no wind
But I am awake and awaiting

“Hush, my beloved, say not a word
Just open thy window for me
None but the moon will behold this our tryst
And I shall be gone ere the dawn”

He speaks of the darkness and people he’s killed
Thus making me tremble with fright
Singing me songs of his ardour for death
A bloodthirsty lover I’ve got

“A beauteous creature thou art, little lamb
“Thy fears whet my hunger, dear boy”
He whispers to me and then kisses my neck
My memory’s blank after that

Okay, cool! Arigato, thanks for the advise! I see what you mean... I'll probably play around with it a little more, then I'll post up the finished version soon...
Umm.. Ando, I think your poem is okay...very mysterious and dark... It's kinda scary, but that's just me...You're very talented, too...

[Tenkuuken]

Wah, cool... I didn't know a lot of people here are interested in poetry. Well then, I'd like to post a poem of mine, which I wrote a long time ago in college...

Song of the Wanderer

Nowhere to go, no place to stay,
I have no idea where to go today.
Though my purpose in life I cannot comprehend,
I must walk in life’s crossroads ‘till the very end.

My tears are my food; my sword is my friend,
My only companion is a heart I can lend.
My weary soul finds rest only in the night
For darkness has been my eternal light.

The places I see, the people I meet,
The foes that attack me yet in the end bleed,
The dangers that lie at the road’s bend….
All these I experience; when shall it end?

The seasons that pass, the time that flies by,
All these I experience when in my solitude I cry.
My bloodstained hands are dirtied of guilt
Like a blade that plunges through my soul to the hilt.

A weary voice, an aching soul, a suffering heart,
These in my journey they never part.
My loneliness is slowly killing me,
Yet despite all these, this is my destiny.

When shall I finally give out my best?
When shall my weary heart find peace and rest?
When will my soul find comfort and ease?
When will my pain and suffering cease?

Yet this journey in life I must continue
For already deep in my heart I knew,
My Calvary shall end, my loneliness shall cease,
Soon I shall find my comfort and peace.

Nowhere to go, no place to stay,
I have no idea where to go today.
Though my purpose in life I cannot comprehend,
I must walk in life’s crossroads ‘till the very end….

[wishingstarx]

Wah, cool... I didn't know a lot of people here are interested in poetry. Well then, I'd like to post a poem of mine, which I wrote a long time ago in college...

Song of the Wanderer

Nowhere to go, no place to stay,
I have no idea where to go today.
Though my purpose in life I cannot comprehend,
I must walk in life’s crossroads ‘till the very end.

My tears are my food; my sword is my friend,
My only companion is a heart I can lend.
My weary soul finds rest only in the night
For darkness has been my eternal light.

The places I see, the people I meet,
The foes that attack me yet in the end bleed,
The dangers that lie at the road’s bend….
All these I experience; when shall it end?

The seasons that pass, the time that flies by,
All these I experience when in my solitude I cry.
My bloodstained hands are dirtied of guilt
Like a blade that plunges through my soul to the hilt.

A weary voice, an aching soul, a suffering heart,
These in my journey they never part.
My loneliness is slowly killing me,
Yet despite all these, this is my destiny.

When shall I finally give out my best?
When shall my weary heart find peace and rest?
When will my soul find comfort and ease?
When will my pain and suffering cease?

Yet this journey in life I must continue
For already deep in my heart I knew,
My Calvary shall end, my loneliness shall cease,
Soon I shall find my comfort and peace.

Nowhere to go, no place to stay,
I have no idea where to go today.
Though my purpose in life I cannot comprehend,
I must walk in life’s crossroads ‘till the very end….

Wow, Tenkouken, it's a very good poem...

[~Namine~]

Wah, cool... I didn't know a lot of people here are interested in poetry. Well then, I'd like to post a poem of mine, which I wrote a long time ago in college...

Song of the Wanderer

Nowhere to go, no place to stay,
I have no idea where to go today.
Though my purpose in life I cannot comprehend,
I must walk in life’s crossroads ‘till the very end.

My tears are my food; my sword is my friend,
My only companion is a heart I can lend.
My weary soul finds rest only in the night
For darkness has been my eternal light.

The places I see, the people I meet,
The foes that attack me yet in the end bleed,
The dangers that lie at the road’s bend….
All these I experience; when shall it end?

The seasons that pass, the time that flies by,
All these I experience when in my solitude I cry.
My bloodstained hands are dirtied of guilt
Like a blade that plunges through my soul to the hilt.

A weary voice, an aching soul, a suffering heart,
These in my journey they never part.
My loneliness is slowly killing me,
Yet despite all these, this is my destiny.

When shall I finally give out my best?
When shall my weary heart find peace and rest?
When will my soul find comfort and ease?
When will my pain and suffering cease?

Yet this journey in life I must continue
For already deep in my heart I knew,
My Calvary shall end, my loneliness shall cease,
Soon I shall find my comfort and peace.

Nowhere to go, no place to stay,
I have no idea where to go today.
Though my purpose in life I cannot comprehend,
I must walk in life’s crossroads ‘till the very end….

Oh my...... thats very good, i'm suddenly inspired to write again!! w00t yay thank you ::bows::

[Tenkuuken]

Thanks! It's a really old poem, but I never thought it still has its magic...

[~Namine~]

Ok here is another poem, i dont really like this one or the way it came out, but let me know what you think kay!!! ^^

"Only Deisre"

Our selfish dreams brought on by desire overwhelming the heart
bringing fourth suffering within our soul such a beautiful reality
thinking toward the future, destroying each other
erasing the lives of those we deemed so valuable
but yet we move forward still dreaming of what we lack the darknesswithin slowly growing stronger
eating away at who we really are
those around us are too consumed withing temptation to notice what
they've become we go unnoticed and continue to fall deeper within
our selfish minds and yet we dream on moving forward
not noticing what lies ahead only to be disappointed
no way to turn back as we reach our fatal future
the future that our fagile dreams have caused

[Kuri-san]

haha... wow a lot of good poem stayed here. i did also made up a plan of making up this poem, and now this poem still lack of good vocaburary... i need all your support in changes in this poem! ^^

------The Lake------
once a while there was a nature lake
.. lied inside the forest
.. a virgin lake thy called..
there fill with astounding type of fishes..
can be eaten either cant be eaten...
Later.. the place was corrupted with human..
everyday a fish will be caught up..
divide the fish tastiness..
the bad taste shall be thrown back to lake..
leaving a scar of the hook..
bleeding and bleeding inward lake......
Thus, the greed of humanity shall never end...
-------***--------
Once there was a man on the lake-side..
wait and wait for the fish to eat his bait...
but,he never caught a fish before..
when a fish near his bait...
he will scared out the fish to escape..
nearby man laugh at him...
"U'll never catch a fish like this!" they laugh..
he stand up his word and said...
"I'll never hurt the innocent fishes, i will catch a fish that i only choose"
so.... he waited and waited.....
for the fish he truly wanted to take his bait....

[~Namine~]

no, i really like it, it has a very different feel to it than most poems ^^ keep it the way it is, the lack of grammer and vocabulary is what makes it unique I love it!!! <3 Good work Light-san

[wishingstarx]

no, i really like it, it has a very different feel to it than most poems ^^ keep it the way it is, the lack of grammer and vocabulary is what makes it unique I love it!!! <3 Good work Light-san

*agrees with Starpheonix-chan...* It's awesome the way it is... ^_^

[Kuri-san]

whatever it be, Thanks for encouraged me!  sob* I had never recieved such good-welcoming by anyone before. But now i feel more better, hontoni~arigato gozaimasu~ ^^

[~Namine~]

yes your welcome, art is art, and I think each piece of art from someone els is special regardless of what critics say, yea there is things you could improve on, but I would never compare you to anyone els, you are unique and art from everyone is special ^^

<---- would make a good critic LOL!!