well well well. Why didn't I reply here sooner? I think its because I wanted to make some posts before I made this one. I've been thinking about it for a long time. and after you're done reading it, (which I really hope you do take the time to read) I think maybe you'll think Iam crazy. but that doesn't matter... so without further ado, please read:
Why do I love Syaoran?
crazy fangirl? me? lol, yes indeed. I Love Syaoran so much, but not really because I dream of a relationship with him, but because he has helped me become a better person and he is my idol.
See, I bet you're creeped out already! ^^;
I have very very bad self esteem problems.( they are getting better.) I used to hate myself, hurt myself, because I had no self confidence at all.
4 years ago (or was it 5?, can't quite remember) I started to read CCS. Of course, I saw Syaoran, and gradually I realised that he, was, and still is. everything I wish I could be.
I found this scary, my own mind was freaked out by the feeling of desire to be like someone so different.
I feel in love with my best friend, and now, me and her have had a truely wonderful relationship, and even though Iam a girl and so is she, we are in love so deeply I would do anything for her. She became my Sakura in a sense ^_^ (and I love her so much. If you ever read this, thank you so much for putting up with my obsession. <3 )
back to the point. Syaoran is an amazing, kind, gentle person, and like me, has an exterior moody, angry personality that was broken by love. Of course, I do know that Syaoran is a fictional character, I know he is only on paper, created by CLAMP. But still, I feel, that Syaoran can be real, in a sense. That he can be real inside a person. (don't take this literally! ^^; ). In my heart, Syaoran is my idol and guide. When faced with trouble, when faced with hurt. I put on a brave face, like Syaoran would, and I protect my loved ones, as Syaoran would. But not just because he would, but thats just how both me and him are...
I'll think 'Pull yourself together! Syaoran would never crumble!' and thats when I seem to find the strength to carry on.
When I think of him, its like I find new confidence in myself
When Tsubasa came out I was overjoyed. CLAMP could have chosen any of their manga characters to take the lead role. but they chose Syaoran. (thank you so much CLAMP!) They couldn't have made a better choice ne? he continues to teach me even more.
And so, I love Syaoran because he has taught me so much about myself. He has helped me to gain confidence, and inspired me to take martial arts in which I learnt so much.
omg, you're probably so confused. please don't misunderstand me, I may sound out of my mind, but I find it very hard to explain... well, I thank you very much if you did read all that. I expect this post will probably be ignored. but hey, I got something off my chest at least.
<3 <3 <3
