The Official Wrestling Thread (now with more news and stuff)

[Arcademan]

ECW on SciFi Results: 3-17-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- U.S. champion SHELTON BENJAMIN & MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas) vs. MVP & CHRISTIAN

Shelton vs. MVP for the U.S. Title is scheduled for this Friday on Smackdown. Big 500 episode celebration. Random commercial break after a nearfall. Well, just seemed so random because we're used to the babyface knocking the heel to the floor and hitting a spot, then being in control to set up the heel in control out of the break.

They returned with Shelton and Henry working over Mr. Moveset MVP. Matt Striker earned his paycheck talking about all four men scouting each other in preparation for the Money in the Bank match. Christian finally entered the match after MVP fought off Shelton and made the hot tag. Shelton and Christian battled, Striker dropped a Johnny Cash reference, the action broke down, then Henry and MVP battled on the floor. In the confusion, Shelton nailed Christian with paydirt for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Shelton & Henry in 8:00. Christian loses yet another match on ECW. Good set-up for MITB and Shelton vs. MVP on Smackdown this Friday, though. (*1/4)

2 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. JAMIE NOBLE

"Top Gun" references galore before the opening bell. Bourne started off on the offensive as Striker described the gruesome injury Bourne suffered with a near-snapping of his ankle five months ago. Cut to a backstage shot of Tyson Kidd and Natalya watching Bourne's return on a backstage monitor. There's your future star feud. Striker said Bourne is planning on busting out some new moves that he developed while injured. Grisham said he talked to Noble before the match and Noble isn't concerned about losing to Bourne in his return. Bourne busted out traditional aerial offense, then set up Noble for the Shooting Star Press. He connected square and made the cover for the win. Afterward, they replayed the move several times with slow-mo replays and let Bourne get his shine in his return.

WINNER: Bourne in 3:00. Very nice return for Bourne. As I expected a few weeks ago when Kidd debuted, they're setting up Bourne vs. Kidd in what should be an excellent feud. (*)

3 -- FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. PAUL BURCHILL (w/Katie Lea Burchill)

Hornswoggle jumped on the ECW broadcast table and demanded headsets to call the action in the ring. Finlay tried to restore order after dumping Burchill to the floor, but Burchill used the distraction to ram Finlay into the ring apron. Grisham suggested that Hornswoggle is more of a detriment than a help for pops. Grisham with a Tom & Jerry reference, which popped Tommy Dreamer's name into my head. Where is Tommy and his Quest? Burchill had his hair pulled back like a Sumo wrestler. Apparently this was his solution to stand out as not a generic mid-card heel. Finlay took Burchill's offense, then he finished off the Englishman with the Celtic Cross on St. Patrick's Day for the pin and the win. Finlay and Hornswoggle then celebrated.

WINNER: Finlay in 3:00. Standard match kept short to avoid long stretches of Burchill on the offensive since WWE doesn't put much stock in his character right now. Just a fun match for the kids on St. Patrick's Day. There's the ECW brand - home of The Zombie - in a sentence. (*)

[Arcademan]

TNA Impact! Results: 3-19-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Keller's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNNS (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) vs. NO LIMIT (Yujiro & Nito)

The Gunns beat Nito to win the light-weight version of the IWGP Tag Team Titles, and this is a non-title rematch. Tenay said the main event tag match later is like an all-star game. Tenay hyped that Foley has never wrestled on Impact and it'll be Jarrett's first match on Impact in over two years. I rest my case.

WINNERS: No Limit in 4:00.

STAR RATING: * -- A bunch of cool spots and high-paced action. It's one of those matches where four wrestlers are told specifically to go out there and burn the house down in four minutes and they do as they're told, then they're criticized in the aggregate for being all about highspots and not telling a proper story in the ring.

2 -- AWESOME KONG & RAISHA SAEED vs. ODB & TAYLOR WILDE

Tenay said he can't get his mind off of the Impact main event tag match. He asked West if it seemed to him that Sting was being a spokesperson for Foley. West said Sting is going to have to put up or shut up tonight. No signs of tension between Tenay and West this week. I'm not usually in favor of abandoning a storyline mid-stream, but if they pretend that tension never occurred, I'm fine with it. Just pretend they talked it out behind the scenes. Taylor hot-tagged in at 2:00 against Kong and hit two dropkicks. Kong didn't go down. Kong did go down after a top rope dropkick. Saeed interfered with the save, but Taylor went after her. They fought at ringside. Kong pressed Taylor, but Taylor slipped out and cradled Kong for the win.

WINNERS: Wilde & ODB in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Afterward, Kong attacked Taylor, then gave ODB an Implant Buster. ODB's date, Cody Deiter, jumped into the ring and put up his dukes. Kong backed out of the ring. West said Kong was smart to walk away because if she didn't, there could be legal issues.

3 -- SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. SAMOA JOE

Joe went after Bashir immediately and aggressively. The ref scolded Joe. Joe punched the ref and then threw Bashir into the announce table. He then put him in a cobra clutch and dragged him to the back.

WINNER: No contest.

4 -- MADISON RAYNE vs. THE GOVERNOR

West and Tenay began arguing. Shoot. Sky interfered to help give Rayne the advantage early. A minute later The Gov surprised Rayne with a leverage pin. West accused the ref of a fast count. Tenay said, "Aw, come on!"

WINNER: The Governor in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Afterward, Sky and Love attacked The Gov. They pulled out a pair of scissors and handed them to Rayne. She had to cut her hair. She began snipping away.

5 -- KURT ANGLE & STING vs. MICK FOLEY & JEFF JARRETT

Angle and Jarrett began the match. West said he can't believe this match is airing for free. Tenay said during the break Cornette informed him that next week on Impact there will be a 20 man six-sides-of-steel gauntlet to determine the two captains for Lethal Lockdown on Apr. 19 on PPV. Jarrett ducked an Angle clothesline and threw a dropkick. Jarrett twisted Angle's arm and played to the crowd. The crowd chanted for Foley and Jarrett tagged in Foley at 2:00. Foley moved in toward Angle, grabbed him, and outwrestled him to the mat. Angle crawled to the bottom rope. Foley yelled "Bang! Bang!" Tenay asked if anyone ever thought they'd see Foley out mat-wrestle Angle. Foley clotheslined Angle over the top rope to the floor. When he went after Angle on the floor, Angle's security members, Sal and Rocco, went after Foley. Foley banged their heads together. Angle hit Foley from behind with a chair, then Angle back suplex Foley onto the mats at ringside. Team 3D came out and beat up Sal and Rocco. West said Foley was out. Jarrett called for help.

Angle beat on Foley in the ring, kicking at his leg. He whipped him toward the ropes, but Foley just collapsed. Sting asked for a tag. Angle teased it, but then pulled his hand away. Angle took Foley down with a hard clothesline. Sting told Angle to get the pin if he could and leave it there. Angle stomped Foley between his legs. Sting walked into the ring and got in Angle's face. "That's enough, Kurt," he said. West said there's no chance of them getting onto the same page. Angle knocked Sting off the ring apron. Jarrett got into the ring and gave Angle a Pedigree and enzuigiri. Tenay noted that Jarrett's not legal. Jarrett went for The Stroke, but Angle blocked it and went for an ankelock. Jarrett powered out and lunged at Angle, but Angle moved and Jarrett took down the ref. Angle ran to ringside and grabbed a chair. Jarrett kicked Angle in the gut to block the chairshot, then brought his guitar into the ring. Jarrett reared back, but Sting yanked it away. Foley stood up with a chair in hand. Angle bailed out of the ring. Foey then bashed Sting with the chair and made the cover. A second ref came out and counted the pin. West said that was no accident when Foley swung the chair and hit Sting. Tenay asked, "What have we just seen here?"

WINNERS: Foley & Jarrett in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Foley's still really crippled looking at he moves around the ring. Sting didn't tag in. So it was mostly Angle with rudimentary solid early work against Jarrett and then beating down Foley before the chaos broke out.

[Arcademan]

WWE Smackdown Results: 3-20-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Keller's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- TRIPLE H vs. VLADIMIR KOZLOV

Triple H ducked a charging Kozlov, who flew over the top rope to the floor. Kozlov re-entered the ring and charged again with a clothesline attempt. Triple H ducked and then knocked Kozlov to the floor. They cut to a break a 1:00.

Triple H had Kozlov in a figure-four as they returned to the break. Kozlov reached the bottom rope to force a break at 4:00. Kozlov gave Triple H a battering ram and a belly-to-belly suplex while working off a limp from the figure-four. He battered Triple H in the corner. Triple H quickly powered out of a bearhug and gave hi a face buster and two clotheslines in the corner. He then scored a two count after a neckbreaker. He followed with a spinebuster after a brief attempt at a comeback by Kozlov. He followed with a Pedigree for the win.

WINNER: Triple H in 7:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Fine for what it was, but Kozlov is pretty much done as a potential top heel since this win wasn't treated as a particularly big deal and it came relatively easily.

2 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. MVP -- U.S. Title match

This title gets defined down as virtually meaningless when there's a title match that appears - poof! - out of nowhere like this. If it's not worthy hyping at least 15 minutes head of time, much less a week or two ahead of time, the average viewer is going to think it's no big deal no matter how much the announcers hard-sell it once it starts. Pro wrestling bookers have lost their way more than ever regarding the art of building anticipation and milking it. They do it for PPVs, but when the same thing being offered on PPV is being given away with no hype on TV, in a generic sense the idea of a main eventer vs. main eventer match is watered down and diminished so that selling a PPV becomes an unnecessary steep uphill battle. Shelton took control early and settled into an abdominal stretch at 1:00.

MVP made a comeback and hit a powerslam. He scored a near fall after a boot to the face. The crowd chanted "MVP, MVP." Shelton countered a suplex with a neckbreaker in a smooth move leading to a two count at 4:00. Tazz put over Shelton as a "quintessential blue chip athlete." MVP scored a near fall with a backslide and then another near fall with a bridge. Shelton came back with a sudden poweslam for a near fall. MVP then hit his finisher for the win.

WINNER: MVP in 5:00 to win the U.S. Title.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Good action, but really short for a U.S. Title match. Again, this would have meant so much more with a little hype last week and some promos to set it up. It's just disheartening to see how short-term planning and an over-reliance on just tossing pushed wrestlers against one another indiscriminately has become a substitute for sound booking.

3 -- SHAWN MICHAELS vs. KANE

Kane overpowered Michaels early. Tazz said it appeared they might have to stop the match after a Kane punch may have "busted Shawn's jaw." Kane overpowered Michaels for the opening minutes. Michaels did the flip bump into the corner on a whip and then tumbled to the floor at 2:00. They cut to another break.

Kane remained in control after the break. This is one of those matches where two big names are matched up, and the one doing the job gets the benefit of 90 percent of the offense to "make up for having to do the job." Vince McMahon hates pronouns, and Ross took it to an extreme by saying Michaels was trying to "get Kane off of Kane's feet." Michaels kicked out of a near fall after a basement dropkick by Kane at 7:00. Michaels made a comeback at 9:00 with some punches and a neckbreaker. After a collision, Michaels leaped up and gave Kane an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline. When he went for a top rope elbow, Kane turned sideways and Michaels landed on his knee. Kane climbed to the top rope and leaped off with a clothesline. Kane waited for Michaels to get up and moved in for a chokeslam, but Michaels surprised him with a superkick for the win. Ross sold the Michaels win as an indication that Undertaker's streak "is dog-gone sure in jeopardy."

WINNER: Michaels in 11:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Pretty one-sided most of the way and Kane is always a bit lumbering, but a solid match with a well executed transition into Michaels's comeback and victory.

4 -- JEFF HARDY vs. BRIAN KENDRICK (w/Ezekiel Jackson)

Hardy knocked Jackson out of the ring at the start of the match and then dove over the top rope onto Kendrick a ringside in the opening minute. Jackson grabbed Hardy from behind and threw him into the security wall. When Jackson checked on Kendrick, Hardy bashed him from behind with a chair repeatedly. He chased Kendrick into the ring with a chair, but Kendrick kicked the chair out of his hands and knocked him to the mat. He mounted him and punched away at his head. Hardy came back and aggressively rammed Kendrick's head into a standing chair several times at 2:00. He DDT'd Kendrick on a chair and finished him with a Swanton Bomb.

WINNER: Hardy in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- The goal was to get across the excitement and energy and high-impact nature of an extreme rules match. So in that respect it worked. It was pretty much a squash of Kendrick and had too many chairshots as six to the back of Jackson was excessive and diminished the perceived impact of one.

5 -- THE UNDERTAKER vs. JBL

Ross said that Monday on Raw, Rey Mysterio challenged JBL for the IC Title at WrestleMania, and JBL has accepted the challenge. Taker jump-started the match with an early flurry of offense. Ross said Taker's streak is like winning 16 Super Bowls in a row, a feat that he says will never be repeated. At 2:00 they cut to a break.

Taker missed a kick at ringside and JBL took over. JBL worked over Taker's leg in the ring. Taker powered out of a figure-four leglock, but JBL managed to retain control of the match at 10:00. At 11:00 Taker made a comeback with snake eyes, a big boot, and a legdrop for a near fall. JBL came back seconds later with a Clothesline from Hell out of nowhere for a near fall. Tazz said it's rare anyone kicks out of that move. Taker then surprised JBL with his Devil's Gate submission. After about 10-15 seconds, JBL tapped out.

WINNER: Undertaker in 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good match. Best of the show so far.

[Arcademan]

Ring of Honor TV Results: 3-21-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed to in-ring results only.

1 -- JERRY LYNN vs. DELIRIOUS

The opening camera shot made the ring look very small and had too much of a "WSX new-school feel" that made this seem like bit wrestling entertainment rather than a serious product. The ROH wrestling product sold itself and now ROH seems to be trying to sell itself with fancy camera shots and a generic sports announcer rather than the in-ring product. Granted, ROH's production value was terrible two years ago, but this feels a bit over-compensating. Mike was way over-the-top on a false finish, making Michael Cole sound like Jim Ross. Mike with some random interjections like in a video game. At least he didn't bust out "vintage Jerry Lynn." Lynn finished off Delirious with the Cradle Piledriver for the win.

WINNER: Lynn in 6:00. Hard to focus on the match trying to soak in the production value, adjust to the moving camerashots, and not being distracted by Hogewood. Here's the deal with Mike Hogewood: he's like a national TV broadcaster calling a baseball game on FOX with very little knowledge of the intricate details of the team he's calling. Or, in the case of FOX Sports calling college football's BCS games, they have knowledge of one or two main elements, but couldn't list the starting line-up of each team. His role is simply to lend a "professional voice" to ROH and let Prazak fill in the details. ROH has to walk a fine line between increased production value, but not over-compensating to take away from the wrestling product. (*1/4)

2 -- KENNY KING vs. SAMI CALLIHAN

Mike said King is cocky and Sami is intense. It's like he's reading a generic horoscope that could apply to anyone. King looks legit in the ring, but Callihan looks like a generic independent wrestler who grew some sideburns and hair, slapped on a singlet, and decided he would stand out. Sami was babyface (I think?), but vocal portion of the crowd was in King's favor. Hogewood wouldn't let go of King's smile. Everything revolved around that smile. King avoided a corner splash and nailed the Coronation in center ring for the win. He's cocky, arrogant, and a winner, Hogewood let us know. How about that smile? Hogewood has us covered post-match.

WINNER: King in 6:00. Fine match. King stood out while Sami won't be remembered, unfortunately. Hogewood, oh Hogewood. (*1/2)

3 -- BRENT ALBRIGHT vs. RHETT TITUS

Match commentary pattern is developing where Prazak will give the name of a move, then Hogewood will repeat the name of the move in a re-structured sentence. Albright knocked Titus to the floor at 3:00, then Albright landed a plancha.Titus took control by smacking Albright on the ring apron, then Hogewood became very indignant at Titus's strutting. Albright made a comeback at 6:00 with an exploder suplex, but Titus nailed an elevated dropkick for a nearfall. Albright came back with a German suplex, then he slapped on the crowbar submission for the victory.

WINNER: Albright in 7:00. Good showcase match of some athleticism from Titus and solid mat work from Albright. Good step-up from the opening matches. (**1/4)

4 -- TYLER BLACK vs. JIMMY JACOBS

Black and Jacobs had a shoving match to start the match with the crowd firmly behind Black, who knocked Jacobs to the floor. Jacobs then retrieved two chairs and chucked them into the ring. Black turned around to move them out of the ring, allowing Jacobs to sneak up behind Black and gain the advantage. Two things I've noticed about the sound: they moved beyond the "random fan conservations near a house mic" that are utterly annoying on DVD releases, but the overall crowd isn't mic'ed as well. The audience seems like they're distant from the action rather than really into the matches.

At 10:00, Black made a comeback and hip-tossed Jacobs across the ring. Black then came off the top rope with a springboard lariat for a two count. He followed with a running shooting star press for a two count as Jacobs clutched his arm in pain. Not much chemistry between Hogewood and Prazak. Sounds like Prazak is trying to adjust to not calling with Lenny Leonard, unsure how to play off Hog. Black went for his finisher, but Jacobs countered into the End Times submission. Black nearly faded out, but he surprised Jacobs with a bridge pin in center ring for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Black in 14:00. Good match. Didn't seem like an "epic first-ever main event on national TV," though. Part of it was the lack of focus on crowd reactions and the poor mic'ing of the audience that is vital to the success of TV wrestling. Hogewood seemed to improve from the opening match to the main event, but that's not saying a lot. The chemistry is forced between the announcers, but hopefully that will develop with time. (**1/2)

[Arcademan]

WWE RAW Results: 3-23-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report).

1 -- JEFF HARDY vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER -- Extreme Rules match
WINNER: Jeff Hardy at 3:02. Pick up the Smackdown build-up with Jeff snapping into Extreme Rules mode in anticipation of facing Matt at WrestleMania. Effective. (*)

2 -- U.S. champion MVP & C.M. PUNK & CHRISTIAN & KOFI KINGSTON vs. KANE & SHELTON BENJAMIN & MARK HENRY & FINLAY
WINNER: Team Christian at 7:11. Strong finish. Exciting action to give a taste of the Money in the Bank match. WWE is turning on the jets tonight to sell WrestleMania. There's definitely a sense of urgency to the show tonight. (*1/2)

3 -- World Hvt. champion EDGE vs. BIG SHOW -- non-title match
WINNER: No Contest at 3:40. More drama between the lover and husband. At least the issue is clear after being a complete mess two weeks ago, but it's still so silly. John Cena's role in this has been the jerk babyface, which isn't exactly an honorable position if he's supposed to be a role model for the kids. Babyfaces defend women, not verbally attack, belittle, and humiliate them. But, apparently in 2009 where morals and ethics are constantly being re-written to the detriment of society, this is what we end up with: Cena tormenting women, Samoa Joe threatening to kill another man, Triple H breaking & entering and getting away with it, and A.J. Styles a thief and robber. Thanks, pro wrestling. (*1/4)

4 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. WILLIAM REGAL (w/Layla and IC champion JBL)
WINNER: Rey Mysterio at 2:57. Nice change-of-pace finish of Rey out-smarting Regal to secure victory and show he can hang with a tough wrestler to show he can hang with JBL at WrestleMania. (*)

5 -- SANTINO MARELLA (w/Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mends) vs. MICKIE JAMES
WINNER: Mickie James at 2:20. Dang, that would have been fun with Santino in the divas battle royale. Oh well. Just a typical make-Santino-the-fool match. (n/a)

6 -- WWE champion TRIPLE H vs. RANDY ORTON & TED DIBIASE, JR. -- handicap match
WINNER: No Match. Very intense angle and exactly what WWE needed to get heat back on Randy Orton as a vicious, unethical heel. Violence against women isn't acceptable, but it's typical McMahon fare of proving they will do anything for the business. Orton's stalking became very graphic to the point where it looked like he was going to do unmentionable and unairable things to Stephanie. Perhaps WWE's idea of PG TV is different than mine, but that pushed the limits of decent TV to go-away TV despite bringing Orton back to a very vicious heel level.

[Arcademan]

ECW on SciFi Results: 3-24-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report. Condensed here to in-ring results...BTW there were only 2 matches, the last part of the show being the V.I.P. Lounge covering the MITB participants.

1 -- CARLITO (w/Primo Colon and Brie Bella) vs. JOHN MORRISON (w/The Miz and Nikki Bella)

Carlito took Morrison up top for a superplex early on, but Morrison nailed an enziguiri kick to take Carlito to the floor. Let's grab a break...already?

They finally returned from break with Carlito back-dropping Morrison to the mat before firing off a round of left arm lariats. Striker very subdued on commentary today. Carlito was in control, then Miz hopped on the ring apron to run interference with his lumberjack-quality flannel shirt. Subtle plug. M&M&B decided to high-tail it, but Teddy Long suddenly stepped out and said this match isn't ending like that. He don't play like that, playa. Long said he had it approved for WrestleMania 25 that the unified tag title match will be in a lumberjack match. Striker said that's a bonus AIG would be proud of. Suddenly, the lumberjacks stepped out to back up Miz & Morrison. A mass of mid-carders aligned around the ring. Suddenly, Carlito grabbed a hold and brought Morrison back into the ring. Morrison was tossed back into the ring, then Carlito surprised Morrison from behind with the backstabber for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Carlito in 10:00. Chance to get the jacks on TV for WrestleMania. The tag title situation continues to be one of the more intriguing aspects of the WrestleMania build-up to give ECW something - anything - to hang its hat on. (*)

2 -- ECW champion JACK SWAGGER & TYSON KIDD (w/Natalya) vs. EVAN BOURNE & TOMMY DREAMER

This should be pretty tight. Match started with Bourne vs. Kidd. There we go. Kidd backed away from Bourne to escape a leglock, then he landed a turnaround strike kick. Bourne avoided a leap frog and snapped off a dropkick that sent Kidd to the floor. Bourne teased a flying move, but Kidd hid behind Natalya, then sucker-punched Bourne. Nice heel move. Kidd tossed Bourne back into the ring, then Dreamer tagged in. He put Kidd in the Tree of Woe, but Swagger ran interference. Dreamer cleared Swagger from the apron, though, then nailed the Joey Lawrence "Woe" dropkick. Ah, Striker always good for an early '90s TV reference. Off to break with Dreamer and Bourne in control.

Back from break, Swagger was taking it to Dreamer, who was suddenly tied up in the ropes by Kidd to set up Swagger with a kick to the face. Nice heel tag combo. Crowd chanted, "Tommy, Tommy" as the heels tagged in and out to work over Dreamer. Announcers let us know Swagger is running the Chuck Norris Facts gimmick to show how impressive he is. Personal fave is Norris's tears cure cancer, but too bad he never cries. Heels continued their attack on Dreamer, who avoided a corner smash and nailed a neckbreaker. Dreamer crawled across the desert to Bourne, who accepted the hot tag as Kidd tagged in. Wham, here we go. Bourne snapped off a huracanrana, then nailed a back kick on Kidd and enziguiri on Swagger. Bourne went up top, knocked Kidd off, then came off the top with the Shooting Star Press for the pin and the win. Post-match: Bourne celebrated with Dreamer and a hot crowd as they replayed Bourne's SSP several times.

WINNERS: Bourne & Dreamer at 10:00. Bourne brings so much excitement to the ring that it's very exciting to watch him. He's got that "it" factor and then some, while the first match-up of Bourne vs. Kidd should set up a lengthy program on ECW depending on how the Draft goes next month. WWE provided a glimpse into the future with the young guns of Swagger, Kidd, and Bourne in the same match. Book that in a three-way title match at WrestleMania with ten minutes of PPV time and they have their official show-stealer. (**)

[Arcademan]

TNA Impact! Results: 3-26-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Keller's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- SUICIDE vs. KIYOSHI (w/No Limit) -- X Division Title match

Did Kiyoshi do more to earn a title shot than Foley? No explanation was offered how they come up with him as the no. 1 contender. (I suppose you could say Great Muta was an emerging star 20 years ago, just like Cactus Jack was 18 years ago.) It cheapens all other matches that are to determine who a top contender is if they appear to be arbitrarily given out. Why not make it non-title? Is anyone really going to tune out if Kiyoshi is pushed as needing to win this non-title match to earn a future title match? As soon as the bell rang, Tenay and West instantly began talking about Jarrett and Angle. Tenay asked West about Jenna from Survivor, too, as Kiyoshi and Suicide were doing their thing in the ring as a backdrop. Eventually West talked about No Limit's big win over the Motor City Machine Guns last week. Tenay said as a result of that win, No Limit is in line for another shot at the New Japan Wrestling Junior Tag Team Titles. Suicide won with the Suicide Solution.

WINNER: Suicide in 4:00.

STAR RATING: * -- There were some nice moves, but apparently none mattered as West and Tenay talked about anything but the moves in the ring. This was the definition for Booking 101 class of how to diminish a title into meaning nothing.

2 -- AWESOME KONG & RAISHA SAEED (w/Rhaka Khan) vs. THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE (w/Madison Rayne)

West said Sting won't fall for that false Foley apology ploy. Who are we rooting for in this feud? Doesn't matter. What matters is Sting, Foley, Angle, and Jarrett, the focus of the commentary. Tenay said Borash has more late-breaking news of the controversial celebrity involvement in the Lockdown match. Love finished Saeed with the Lights Out finisher.

WINNERS: The Beautiful People in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

3 -- TEAM CAPTAIN GAUNTLET CAGE MATCH

Abyss entered first, then A.J. Styles. Tenay got sassy with West for the third time in the show. Abyss controlled most of the opening two minutes. Then Alex Shelley joined third. Shelley sprayed water in the eyes of Abyss and then kicked him as he headlocked Styles. He charged with an elbow into the corner on Abyss, then kicked him twice more. Abyss caught a charging Shelley and pressed and dropped him to slow his attack. Styles then dove off the ropes with a forearm at Abyss. Black Machismo came out fourth as Tenay and West argued. They cut to a break.

Back from the break, Matt Morgan ran to the ring. During the break, Chris Sabin joined the match. Styles staggered Morgan with a Pele Kick. Abyss then gave him a Black Hole Slam for the pin. That was a bit of a surprise. Homicide and Scott Steiner joined the match next. Then they cut to a break.

They showed that Homicide was eliminated during the break by Chris Sabin. Consequences Creed came out next and worked with Lethal. Lethal flipped onto both Gunns for a near fall at 18:00. Rhino entered next and went after Steiner. West and Tenay questioned that strategy, rather than going after Abyss or Styles who had been worn down longer. Next out was Jeff Jarrett. Angle attacked him from behind. West said Angle is a man of his word. Angle bashed Jarrett over the shoulder with a chair, then walked away with a grin. Tenay said Jarrett had been severely injured. Nice to see one chairshot being sold as a big deal. It looked like a big deal, so it's nice they're selling it as such. As medics tended to Jarrett, Nido from No Limit joined the match. He hit Creed with a top rope dropkick. Lethal pinned Shelley with the Lethal Combination finisher at 26:00.

When Angle's music played, he came out but rather than enter the match, he first took another shot at Jarrett at ringside. Then he entered the ring and immediately made Creed tapout to the anklelock. Tenay said director of security Hack Myers told him they're trying to stabilize Jarrett's shoulder. Angle then eliminated Sabin and then Lethal.

Angle eliminated Shane Sewell. Not sure when he entered. Next out was Sheik Abdul Bashir. Tenay said obviously someone cut Bashir down last week after Samoa Joe hung him upside down. West pushed Lockdown as the best PPV of the year because of the all-cage format and unpredictability of it all. Booker T entered next. He gave Styles a Bookend to get a quick pin on Styles at 34:00. Tenay said he was picking the bones since Styles had been in so long already. Booker trash-talked him afterward. Rhino surprised Booker with a Gore for the pin seconds later.

It was down to Bashir, Angle, Steiner, Rhino, and Abyss at this point. Yujiro entered next. Angle gave an Angle Slam to Bashir for the win after pretending to be his friend first. Next out was Eric Young. Steiner and Angle double slammed and double covered Abyss to eliminate him. Rhino pinned Yujiro after a Gore, but Angle surprised Rhino with an Angle Slam for the pin. That left Angle and Steiner alone. Angle laid down and let Steiner cover him, but at the two count, Angle kicked out. Steiner and Angle laughed. Steiner laid down and let Angle cover him, but Steiner kicked out at two. Hernandez was out next. He managed to hold his own and set up a Border Toss on Steiner. Angle broke it up and then gave him an Angle Slam for the pin at 41:00. Steiner's face was bleeding.

Jarrett walked out to rejoin the match. His shoulder was taped. He went after Steiner and Angle. Soon Angle and Steiner were able to work over Jarrett. Jarrett surprised Angle with a schoolboy for a near fall a minute later. He gave Steiner his Stroke finisher for the pin. Angle then went for an Angle Slam, but Jarrett avoided it and hit two clotheslines and set up a Pedigree. Angle flipped out of that and went into an Anklelock. Jarrett kicked out of it, then hit an enzuigiri. He followed up with the Stroke. Steiner stopped the ref from hitting the mat a third time. West said that was fair because Jarrett shouldn't have been in there anyway. Angle then gave Jarrett the Angle Slam for the pin.

As Angle celebrated, Samoa Joe walked out as the final entrant. West said that was the 21st person. Tenay said Joe's the 20th. Joe put a sleeper on Angle. Angle escaped and went for an Anklelock. Joe escaped, but Angle came back with an Angle slam. Angle celebrated. Joe leaping roundkicked him in the face, then set up a Muscle Buster for the pin.

WINNER: Joe in 45:00.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- Lots of good action and intricately booked for a TV match of this type. It sure established who the top guys were and who are there to flip around and bump around until their time comes.

[Arcademan]

WWE Smackdown Results: 3-27-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

(1) Christian & Shelton Benjamin & Kane & Finlay (w/Hornswoggle) beat U.S. champion MVP & Mark Henry & Kofi Kingston & Mark Henry (w/Tony Atlas) in 10:00. A mix of heels and faces in this version of the eight-man tag. As a result, there was some dissension in the ranks leading to commercial. After a break, MVP and Shelton picked up their feud and Jim Ross announced a U.S. Title re-match on next week's Smackdown. It came down to Kane and Punk and they battled until Kane caught Punk in mid-air with a chokeslam for the pin and the win with no one running interference to save Punk. Poor guy has been on a major league slide the past two months, including an IC Title loss. (*1/2)

(2) Big Show beat Jesse & Festus in 2:00. J&F were already in the ring out of the break, so you knew they were losing. Bell rang and Show ripped off a chop on Festus. WWE has apparently given up on the big man/small man combo, as Festus's entire drawing power as a big man was eliminated up against Show. Festus took a big right hand, then Show gave Jesse a chokeslam and a straight right hand for the KO and the win. Basic enhancement match to get over Show as a threat to the World Title at WrestleMania 25. (1/2*)

(3) Rey Mysterio beat Chavo Guerrero in 6:00. The WCW special opened with Rey pulling out his trademark aerial offense. Ross and Tazz talked about Rey vs. JBL for the IC Title at WrestleMania while Ross presented Rey as the babyface going into Houston. Some really good action in the first five minutes as the men exchanged control. Chavo tried an awkward frog splash, but Rey moved and set up Chavo for the 619. Rey then hit a top rope dive for the pin and the win. Strong match-up with good action. (**) Post-match: JBL suddenly stepped into the ring and smashed Rey with a big boot to the face. After making his point, JBL simply turned and left the ring. Ouch.

(4) Matt Hardy beat R-Truth in 3:00. Duke vs. Carolina started with the heel Hardy in control working over Truth. Ross talked about Jeff and Matt's father having to sit at home watching his two sons tear each other apart in Extreme Rules at WrestleMania. Nice pull on the emotional strings to encourage PPV buys. Hardy avoided the spinning fist, then Hardy avoided the axe kick later to set up the Twist of Fate for the pin and the win. Fine match to reinforce Hardy in control as a heel going into Mania. Everything on TV is pointed toward Mania and this was an effective use of Hardy. Not so much Truth. (*)

(5) WWE tag team champions PRIMO & CARLITO COLON & BRIE BELLA beat World tag team champions MIZ & MORRISON & NIKKI BELLA in 3:00. Before the bell sounded, the twins had a verbal exchange before they were separated to opposite corners. Ross equated Miz & Morrison to the Midnight Express tag team because of how well they work as one unit. Twins broke out into a brawl, then Carlito slipped over Morrison in mid-air into the backstabber for the pin and the win. Nice finish, but very short match. Decent preview for the tag title unification match. (*1/2)

(6) Divas champion Maryse vs. Michelle McCool went to a No Contest in 4:00. The action moved to the floor twice during the match to get over the aggression between the rival divas. Suddenly, Gail Kim entered the ring up top and nailed a missile dropkick on McCool to make an emphatic return to WWE. Ross acknowledged her by name. Gail then grabbed the Divas Title and held it over the fallen competitors to signify she wants the belt. Crowd reaction was decent for someone who hasn't been on WWE TV in several years.

[Arcademan]

WWE RAW Results: 3-30-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report. Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- 18-DIVAS BATTLE ROYALE

Nine of the heel divas were already in the ring. Babyfaces ran through intros. ECW assistant Tiffany of all people scored the pin on Katie Lea. It's obvious WWE is more concerned about ring intros than actual in-ring action. Santino then showed up in a robe. He wants in the Miss WrestleMania match at WrestleMania, then he pulled out a man-kini. What happened to the bro or manzierre? Beth Phoenix continued the storyline that's well-beyond-played-out by being embarrassed by Santino's actions before the divas tackled him. Wonderful.

WINNERS: Team Tiffany in 2:00. (n/a)

2 -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. JERRY LAWLER

Bell sounded and they had a lock-up. Lawler shoved Jericho, then Jericho shoved Lawler. Lawler answered him with a big right hand, but that was virtually all of the offense for Lawler, who took a whopping until Jericho put him in the Walls of Jericho in center ring. Lawler quickly tapped.

Post-match: Jericho wasn't done and he re-entered the ring to pick up Lawler. Suddenly, Lawler sprung to life and punched Jericho in the face. Jericho took the mic and said he's already beaten Lawler and he doesn't need to get back in the ring. He said he won't apologize for what he does to the Legends at WrestleMania because Mickey Rourke started this mess and he'll watch his "friends" face their demise. He said he will humiliate and eradicate the Legends from wrestling forever.

WINNER: Jericho in 3:00. Odd booking of Lawler to take a decisive loss like that, but Lawler at least got some measure of revenge back. Cole can't even muster enough life for commentary on his co-partner's match. Jericho with a good promo for Mania, but nowhere near the level this program was at five weeks ago. Sadness. (*)

3 -- IC champion JBL vs. REY MYSTERIO -- non-title match

Rey tried to build momentum early, but JBL ran him over with a shoulderblock leading to commercial.

JBL knocked Rey to the floor out of the break. Back in the ring, Rey fired back on JBL with kicks to the face. He then hit a seated sentaun and an enziguiri kick. Rey wanted the 619, but JBL moved. Rey then kicked him to another set of ropes and nailed the 619 this time. Rey then hit the springboard splash on JBL for the win. JBL was shocked post-match.

WINNER: Rey in 6:00. Rey with a solid win to set up the IC Title match at Mania. I just do not agree with giving away any WM match on free TV six days beforehand. Doesn't make Mania seem special. That said, good use of Rey on TV to build excitement for Mania. (*1/2)

4 -- JOHN CENA vs. BIG SHOW

Cena went for a leaping shoulderblock at 2:00, but Show brick-walled him into a flat back bump on the mat. Impressive spot that looked even better on replay. Show tried to squash Cena in the corner, but Cena moved. He tried to build momentum, but Show tossed him high into the air to land a stomach-first on the mat. Show wanted the Vader Bomb out of the corner, but Cena moved and sprung up top for the leaping guillotine leg drop. Cena wanted the STFU, but Show kicked him away. Show then drop-kicked Cena off the apron to the floor going to break.

Back from break, Show was sitting on Cena's back with a modified Camel Clutch. Cena made his face turn purple as he tried to grit his way into a squat, but Show just sat on his back to cut Cena off. Show then wanted the chokeslam, but Cena countered into a DDT. Crowd popped as Cena tried to follow with the STFU, but Show's body is too huge. Show elbowed him in the face to escape, then he avoided an attempted FU and gave Cena a chokeslam. Show with the pin for a clean win on Cena. Wha?

Post-match: Edge snuck into the ring and stared down Show, then he tackled Cena and started beating the crap out of him. Show just stood back in the corner and sweated while watching. Another ref stormed the ring to pull Edge off Cena, who struggled to collect his breath as Edge had that "Edge look" in his eyes.

WINNER: Show in 11:00. Really good TV match with strong crowd involvement, but very odd to see Cena taking another TV loss. So weird when he used to never lose. Apparently this is punishment for his movie sucking at the box office. Show looked good in the ring thanks to WWE booking around his limited mobility and Cena creating a lot of movement. (**)

5 -- MITB BATTLE ROYAL

Henry tried to press-slam Finlay out of the ring, then Henry eventually just tossed him out. Hornswoggle was none too pleased, which allowed everyone else to toss out Henry from behind. Punk tried to eliminate Christian, then Kane tried to eliminate both of them. Kane then turned his attention to MVP and Shelton Benjamin to get rid of them simultaneously.

Final four: Punk (Mich. St.), Kane (UCONN), Christian (UNC), and Kofi Kingston (Villanova). Streeeetch. Kane tried to eliminate Christian, but the former TNA star held on to the top rope. In any event, Kofi was knocked out, then Kane press-slammed Punk onto Christian to eliminate both men and win the battle royal. Post-match: Kane grabbed a ladder and slid it into the ring. Kane then scaled the ladder and retrieved the MITB briefcase.

WINNER: Kane in 4:00. More focus on Kane as the dominant star heading into MITB. Probably means he won't win, but he's been built-up effectively with an eye on post-Mania for a potential main event program on Raw, Smackdown, or ECW depending on Draft. (*1/2)

[Arcademan]

ECW on SciFi Results: 3-31-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report).

1 -- CHRISTIAN & FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. MARK HENRY & KANE

Kane grappled Christian around the neck early, but Christian fought him off and tagged out to Finlay. Back and forth exchange, then they cut to break.

They returned from break with Kane working over Finlay in the corner. Christian finally took a hot tag and wanted a cross-body on Henry, but Henry caught him in mid-air. Christian fought out, then Finlay and Christian executed a double-team dropkick on the big man from Silsbee, Texas. ChrisLay dumped Kane to the outside, then Christian wanted a top rope splash, but Henry caught him in mid-air for the World's Strongest Slam and the pin. Ouch.

Post-match: Henry pointed to the briefcase hanging above the ring. Kane, who won the MITB preview match on Monday, then joined Henry to gaze at the briefcase. Henry wasn't feeling that, so he clotheslined Kane to the mat so he could join Christian staring up at the lights.

WINNERS: Henry & Kane in 10:00. Fine match. Not a fan of Christian taking the loss without having enough offense to remain credible in the eyes of viewers when he's re-establishing a first impression, but WWE is obviously keeping the big men strong since they're not winning at MITB with an eye on post-Mania for the big men to be utilized in semi-to-main-event-level programs on Raw, Smackdown, ECW, or WGN. (*)

2 -- NIKKI BELLA (w/World tag team champions THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON) vs. BRIE BELLA (w/WWE tag team champions PRIMO & CARLITO COLON)

Morrison was a little pre-occupied texting during the match. The boys started playing tag on the outside setting up a distraction in the ring where bad girl Nikki rolled up good girl Brie for the pin and the win. Brie was not pleased, so Miz made a sarcastic wipe-away-the-tears motion on the entrance ramp as Team Morrison celebrated victory. Morrison was still pre-occupied with himself to fit his character as the show closed.

WINNER: Nikki in 3:00. Just a standard, quick divas match advancing the tag title program leading to WrestleMania. (1/2*)

Okay, you read right...TWO MATCHES!!! Caldwell summed it up nicely:

Overall thought: Perhaps if you've missed the entire WrestleMania build-up, you would have enjoyed this recap and diva show. Perhaps if you watch this on the DVR, you can set the record for fastest viewing of a wrestling show in history. If you sat through this live for an entire hour and make a living covering pro wrestling and have no way of fast-forwarding through live TV in real-time, then you're ready to pull your hair out.

[Arcademan]

TNA Impact! Results: 4-2-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Keller's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- CONSEQUENCES CREED & "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL & LAX (Homicide & Hernandez) vs. SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR & NO LIMIT & KIYOSHI

West said he respects that Bashir realizes he won't win a popularity contest with his views, but he speaks his mind and stands by it. He also defended Angle's perspective. Everybody got a spot or two in including a dive by Lethal and Homicide through the ropes at two heels on the floor. Back in the ring Bashir avoided Creed's finisher with an eye rake, then DDT'd him for the win.

WINNERS: Bashir & No Limit & Kiyoshi in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4*

-Only four minutes of in-ring action in the first 52 minutes of the show.

2 -- TEAM 3D vs. MAIN EVENT MAFIA SECURITY (Rocco & Sal)

They were just called "Security" on the graphic on their way to the ring, but Tenay called them Rocco and Sal again. Sal and Rocco attacked Team 3D from behind as Beer Money distracted them. Tenay accused Beer Money of orchestrating the blindside. They denied it and said they respect Team 3D and just want to watch the match. Well, Brother Ray found opponents who make him look fit. It was a competitive match with mostly stand up brawling. Team 3D caught Rocco on the top rope (what was he doing up there?) and slammed him to the mat. They followed with a 3D for the win.

WINNERS: Team 3D in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2*

4 -- MADISON RAYNE (w/Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) vs. TAYLOR WILDE

Taylor dropkicked Rayne to the floor early. Sky and Love attacked Wilde at ringside and then threw her into the ring where Rayne took over at 1:00. Tenay went into plugging Steiner vs. Styles and Sting vs. Foley. TNA's creative team still is not big at all on promoting big matches ahead of time and letting that anticipation build, but rather announcing matches early on the show that happen later in the show. Wilde won with a leverage pin at 3:00. Love and Sky attacked Wilde afterward and tried to hold her down to cut her hair, but Wilde scurried away. Love and Sky were upset with Rayne for letting Wilde escape.

WINNER: Wilde in 3:00.
STAR RATING: *


5 -- SCOTT STEINER vs. A.J. STYLES

Tenay said what's at stake here is getting a step closer to having the one-man advantage at Lockdown. He compared it to having a power play in hockey. Steiner gave Styles a low-blow at 2:00, then they cut to a break.

Back in the ring Steiner remained in control. Styles came back at 6:00 and set up a Styles Clash. Steiner backdropped out of it. Styles hit a bridging suplex for a near fall. Steiner springboarded off he top rope with a flying forearm, but the ref got hit instead of Steiner. With the ref down, Angle slid Steiner a chair. Steiner swung the chair, but Styles ducked and hit a Pele Kick. Jarrett came to ringside and attacked Angle. Styles grabbed the chair. The ref got up and warned Styles not to use it. Jarrett yanked the chair from Styles. Steiner then planted Styles on the chair and scored the pin. West said Jarrett cost Styles the match. Tenay said Jarrett was trying to warn Styles that he'd get DQ'd if he used the chair.

WINNER: Steiner in 9:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4

6 -- STING vs. SAMOA JOE

Joe went right after Sting at the bell with a barrage of punches. Joe stopped an early attempt at a Sting comeback and kicked him to the mat. Sting dropped Joe at 1:00 and applied an early Scorpion. Joe powered out of it. Sting hit a clothesline in the corner. When he went for a corner dive, Joe caught him and one-arm slammed him to the mat. When the ref scolded Joe for hitting Sting repeated in the corner against the ropes, Joe threw the ref to the mat for the DQ.

WINNER: Sting via DQ in 2:00.

[Arcademan]

WWE Smackdown Results: 4-3-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Keller's complete report). The show was mostly promos to Wrstlemania as there was only 3 matches...

1 -- MARYSE & MICHELLE MCCOOL vs. GAIL KIM & MARIA

Ross said Maria is excited to tag with Kim. Tazz said he wouldn't mind tagging with Kim. The heel duo took control early, isolating Maria in their corner. Gail got a hot-tag at 2:00 and worked over Maryse with a pace of offense that Maryse had trouble keeping up with. Kim hit a crossbody off the middle rope. When McCool made her way into the ring, Kim gave up the cover to knock her to the floor. Kim returned to offense on Maryse, finishing her with a neckbreaker.

WINNERS: Kim & Maria in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Kim looked really sharp, already the class of the division. Did I mention how boneheaded it was of TNA to low-ball her and let her go? This match was ridiculously short, but what else is new.

2 -- MVP vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN -- U.S. Title match

Shelton settled into the offense, including a chinlock at 2:00. Tazz and Ross talked about the Money in the Bank ladder match, and how intriguing it is because there are no overwhelming favorites. Tazz admired a Shelton suplex, saying back in the day that was his forte. Ross said he was the "Human Suplex Machine."

MVP made a comeback at 5:00. He hit a powerslam and palyed to the crowd for a mild pop. Many fans are still wondering why they're supposed to cheer this guy who spent a year bashing them and bragging up himself, then went on a losing streak, and suddenly for absolutely no reason began playing to them as if he was their hero. MVP went into his finishing sequence for a near fall. Shelton returned fire with a spin wheelkick for a near fall. Shelton hit a top rope flip neckbreaker for a near fall at 6:00. Ross called it "an amazing offensive maneuver." MVP hit a big boot to cut off Shelton's momentum, then his Playmaker for the win.

WINNER: MVP in 7:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Solid TV match. Pretty much the definition of a two-star average seven minute match. It didn't feel epic or anything, but it was fine for what it positioned to be.

3 -- JEFF HARDY vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON (w/The Brian Kendrick)

With seven minutes left in the hour, the first original content of the hour since the three minutes of Shelton vs. MVP that opened the hour. Ezekiel overpowered Hardy at the start. Ross said he wanted to erase from his mind the image of Matt petting the Jack Russell Terrier. At 3:00 Hardy came back and clotheslined Jackson to the floor. Hardy then dove over the top rope onto both Jackson and Kendrick. As Hardy went after Kendrick at ringside, Jackson jumped him from behind. Hardy came back with a DDT in the ring followed by a Twist of Fate and a Swanton for the clean win.

WINNER: Hardy in 4:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

[Arcademan]

WWE WrestleMania 25 PPV Results: 4-5-09

Real-time results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's ongoing report).

Well, here's what WWE thinks about tag team wrestling. They put the unified tag title match in the dark match spot. Miz & Morrison came out first to defend the World Tag Titles vs. Carlito & Primo, who have the WWE tag titles. Before that, ECW announcers Todd Grisham and Matt Striker made their ringside appearance to call the match. Lumberjacks also came out to surround ringside.

Before the show, Bruce Pritchard was walking around on the floor. Very much a stand-out personality. ... Crowd filled in magnificently before the dark match. I've never seen Reliant Stadium this filled for a Texans game. Looks great.

A -- WWE tag team champions PRIMO & CARLITO COLON vs. World tag team champions THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON -- Unified tag title match

Very good tag match. Primo took the hot tag and cleaned house with his aerial offense. Morrison wanted the Moonlight Drive on Primo, but he countered with the backcracker for the pin and the win after Carlito took Miz off the ring apron.

WINNERS: Carlito & Primo to win Unified tag titles. Like I said, this was a really good tag match. Crowd bought into the nearfalls post-hot tag. Should have been on the live PPV. Perhaps a video package will air? (***)
 
1 -- MITB Ladder match

As expected, Shelton tried to do the crazy bumps. Some crazy spots early on, including a tease of Mark Henry doing a huge splash off the top rope onto the other seven on the floor. Turned into Hornswoggle running off Henry's back for a big splash onto the other seven. At the end, they teased Christian climbing the ladder to pop the hardcore fans who wanted to see Christian win, but Kane knocked him off. Punk then knocked Kane off and climbed up top to grab the ladder and win the MITB match for the second year in a row.

WINNER: Punk at 14:24. Very good, but not quite great MITB ladder match. We knew it was going long because they set up the set for Kid Rock on stage while the match was going on. Shelton had the usual crazy spots, which were pretty cool. MVP was below-average, I felt, especially on the botched sunset flip powerbomb spot with Shelton near the end. Good start to the PPV. (***)
 
2 -- TWENTY-FIVE DIVA BATTLE ROYAL

They went right from Kid Rock to the bell ringing for this match. All of the women were already in the ring. Mae Young was the guest time keeper at ringside, with Candice Michelle sitting next to her. Rosa Mendez was the first eliminated. Women are eliminated if their feet hit the floor, whether or not they went over the top rope or through the ropes. Regarding May, Lawler said, "She remembers back when she was a beautiful diva. Then the meteor hit and the dinosaurs died." Molly Holly and Sunny were among the early eliminations. They flew to Houston for that? Santino was dressed in drag in the ring just avoiding any contact. The final five were Santino, Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, and Melina. McCool and Mickie tumbled to the floor next. Santino then knocked Phoenix and Melina to the floor to win. The crowd chanted "San-tin-o!" afterward. The announcers were instructed to play dumb, as they pretended they didn't know who it was.

WINNER: Santino Marella in 6:00.

STAR RATING: n/a -- Afterward, Santino claimed he was Santina Marella, Santino's twin sister from Italy. He cried as Candice put the Diva Crown on his head. Beth Phoenix was upset that he stole her moment.
 
3 -- CHRIS JERICHO vs. RICKY STEAMBOAT & RODDY PIPER & JIMMY SNUKA (w/Ric Flair)

Strong reception for Flair, who came out last. Snuka was out at 3:50, then Piper out at 4:44. Piper was fine early on as the first Legend in there. Steamboat was very popular, then he came in as the last line of defense for the Legends. Jericho tried to toss Steamboat over the top rope, but Steamboat skinned the cat - yes he did - back into the ring. After Jericho bumped Flair off the apron, he found a blow from Steamboat. Steamboat nailed a plancha to the floor. Man is still in good shape. Crowd is really behind Steamboat. He nearly scored pinfalls with roll-ups, but Jericho eventually got him with the codebreaker for the pin.

WINNER: Chris Jericho at 8:57. Steamboat can still go and the crowd was definitely into him. Fine undercard match. (*1/2)

Post-match: Jericho and Flair brawled until Jericho caught Flair with the codebreaker and sent Flair scurrying to the outside. Jericho then turned his attention to Mickey Rourke on the front row. Fans wanted Austin, though. Rourke eventually took the bait and jumped into the ring after milking it forever. Too long to where the audience lost interest momentarily. Rourke then got into the ring and went into a boxing stance. Jericho dodged twice, then went for a big punch, but Rourke ducked and nailed him with an elbow. Jericho sold it and that was that. Flair and Rourke celebrated to close the deal. Surreal seeing Rourke in the ring, but he didn't have the timing down to work the crowd up for the moment.
 
4 -- MATT HARDY vs. JEFF HARDY -- Extreme Rules match

The brothers were in a tough position of following some gimmick matches and a legends match, so they pulled out the weapons too soon without trying to build up a story. Crowd was laid back for this one until they started to try to kill each other with highspots. Jeff pulled out two giant ladders and tried to leap onto Matt in center ring, but Matt moved and Jeff ate the mat with a flatback bump. Matt, having taken a huge beating to give Jeff plenty of offense for Even Steven booking, then hit a Twist of Fate with Jeff's head inside a chair. Matt with the pin for the win.

WINNER: Matt at 13:14. They tried hard, but couldn't push the match into second gear until they tried to kill each other. Of course, they used a chair shot to the head from Jeff to Matt to try to get a reaction, but that didn't work too well. Hopefully the lack of response for chair shots to the head will be a deterrent more than any medical research. (**1/2)
 
5 -- IC champion JBL vs. REY MYSTERIO -- IC Title match

Before the bell sounded, JBL attacked Rey with a big boot. Ref allowed Rey to recover, then he called for the bell. Rey suddenly busted out an enziguiri kick, hit the 619, and nailed the springboard splash for a surprise pin to win the belt.

WINNER: Rey at 0:19 to capture the IC Title. Well, there's your memorable WM moment. (n/a)

Post-match: Rey celebrated with the belt, then JBL came to looking very shocked. JBL looked around the arena, then took the mic and said he has something to say. Crowd booed. JBL waited with concern written all over his face. JBL stuttered, then shouted, "I Quit!" Oh. Crowd applauded, then chanted, "Na na na, goodbye." So, is that the historic thing at Mania? First person to quit on the spot?
 
6 -- SHAWN MICHAELS vs. THE UNDERTAKER

I just watched this one without taking notes during the match. Simply amazing. The only debate will be how close to five stars that match was in terms of setting the bar so high on how to perform in a WrestleMania main event. Big stage. Big match. Big stakes. Big spots. Taker taking the skin-the-cat into a Tombstone and Michaels kicking out of the Tombstone was one of the all-time great spots. Only thing that knocked it down from a five-star classic was the deal with the cameraman ringside. Worked well to set up a tired ref for more drama with the nearfalls, but could have been done in a different way. Other than that, just what you expect from two of the top two performers in wrestling. Right before the counter of the moonsault into Tombstone for the pin, I looked up and saw an entire stadium on its feet with eyes glued on the ring (or giant HD screens) to watch a great performance. Just a sight to behold.

WINNER: The Undertaker at 30:41. (****3/4)
 
7 -- WWE World Hvt. champion EDGE vs. BIG SHOW vs. JOHN CENA -- World Hvt. Title match

WWE took a gamble that the fans wouldn't treat this as a buffer match to the main event with the star power of John Cena in the semi-main event following the amazing Michaels vs. Taker match. Fans treated it as a buffer match, though. There were a few spots that generated reactions, but it wasn't until the finish that the crowd came to life for Cena hitting FUs on Show and Edge, then pinning Show for the win to capture the title.

WINNER: Cena at 14:43 to capture the World Hvt. Title. Underwhelming title match. Just not memorable despite Cena winning the title. Tough spot to be in following HBK-Taker. (**1/2)
 
8 -- WWE champion TRIPLE H vs. RANDY ORTON -- WWE Title match

Boring title match. Crowd was not into the action, which never moved out of first gear as they tried to win the crowd with a slow-paced, methodical main event match. Hunter gets his WrestleMania moment in the sun, but the match wasn't any good. Weak title match. They set the bar too high with this storyline with crazy antics and storyline progression, then delivered a basic deal with only a sledgehammer coming into play behind the ref's back to set up Hunter with the Pedigree for the win.

WINNER: Hunter at 23:32. Anti-climatic finish to a PPV featuring one of the all-time best WrestleMania matches. I'll write more about this on Monday regarding the same problem I saw from ROH on Friday where the next-to-next-last match stole the show and left the final two matches with a tough hill to climb to re-involve the crowd in a four hour show. There's just a standard for three hour wrestling shows and the audience is ready for the main event at the two-hour mark. Michaels vs. Taker was the main event and the last two matches just didn't have a chance. (**)

[Arcademan]

WWE RAW Results: 4-6-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- UNIFIED tag team champions CARLITO & PRIMO COLON vs. THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON -- Unified tag title match -- Lumberjack match

Morrison was chucked to the outside early in the match and the babyface jacks took their time getting in some shots before chucking him back into the ring. Colons in control heading to break.

Back from break, Carlito took a hot tag and nailed a neckbreaker on Miz for a two count. Miz then slingshot him to the apron and Carlito shoved him down onto the lumberjacks below. Awkward spot. Morrison then hopped up top and nailed a sick Shooting Star Press/450 splash onto all of the lumberjacks ringside. Whoa, where did that come from? Back in the ring, the action broke down, then Primo took Morrison to the floor. Lumberjack brawl broke out. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Miz blocked the backcracker and rolled up Carlito for a close two count. Miz couldn't believe it. He then put Carlito in the electric chair, but Carlito slipped out and hit the backstabber for the pin and the win to retain the belts.

WINNERS: Colons at 9:30. Very good TV tag match with the lumberjacks creating some movement ringside to enhance the match. Just a sample of how good the pre-PPV match was. (**1/4)

2 -- RAW DIVAS vs. SMACKDOWN DIVAS 10-diva tag match

Line-up for the Raw Divas was Kelly Kelly, Jillian Hall, Layla, Women's champion Melina, and Mickie James. Smackdown Divas had Eve Torres, Divas champion Maryse, Gail Kim, Natalya, and Maria. Might as well just mix and match the heel and babyface divas after Santino took over the division last night. Mickie scored the pin for her team after a DDT on Natalya, who took advantage of her chance to be on Raw TV earlier in the match.

WINNERS: Team Raw at 3:53. Interesting to see how the diva feuds shake up after the Draft next week. Perhaps they will finally break up Santino(a) and Beth after the Glamarella deal ran its course. (*)

3 -- World Hvt. champion JOHN CENA & C.M. PUNK & JEFF HARDY & RICKY STEAMBOAT & IC champion REY MYSTERIO vs. CHRIS JERICHO & MATT HARDY & KANE & BIG SHOW & EDGE

Match was joined in progress with Matt working over Rey. Jeff then took a tag and Matt scurried to his heel partners to tag in Edge. Hardy and Edge had a mis-communication trying to set up some spots, so Hardy tagged out to Cena. Cena set up Edge, then stared down Steamboat and milked a well-received tag to Ricky. He snapped off a top rope chop, then a thrust before slapping on an armbar. "You still got it," was the chant.

Kane tagged in and Ricky took him down to size, then he delivered a round of chops on the other heels. Crowd hot for Ricky, who went up for a chop on Kane. "Vintage Ricky the Dragon," Cole said to kill it all. Kane then dropped Steam with a sidewalk slam to begin a isolated attack on Steamboat. Crowd still very much behind Steamboat trying to rally him. Ricky ripped off some chops on Big Show, but Show cut him off. Jericho then came in and slapped on the Walls of Jericho, but Steamboat grabbed Jericho's ankles and rolled him up for a two count.

Punk then took a tag when Steamboat flipped away from Jericho and he cleaned house. Punk with a bulldog on Jericho, then he started clearing the heels off the apron until Kane nailed him with an uppercut. Jericho worked on Punk with some offense, then the heels started isolating Punk going into a break.

Back from break, Punk was still taking a beating. Show then tried to quiet the crowd for a frying-pan-like chop to the chest. Show then slap-tagged Edge into the match and the fighters for Vickie's affection shared unwelcoming glance. Kane tagged in and took Punk up top, but Punk fought him off to the mat. Punk wanted a second-rope smash, but Kane blocked with a chokeslam grip, but Punk countered with a tornado DDT. Babyfaces were itching for a hot tag and Hardy took the tag. He worked on Edge, who also took a tag. Hardy with a dropkick combo, then a pin for a two count. Matt tried to sneak in, but Jeff tossed him to the floor and hit a plancha. Cena took a tag in the interim, then Rey before Cena took Show over the top rope to the floor. Rey then set up Edge and Jericho for a double 619. Sick. Rey went up top and Steamboat went up top too. Steamboat hit a cross-body splash on Edge and Rey hit a top rope splash on Jericho simultaneously. Rey then made the pin for the win.

Post-match: Punk grabbed his briefcase and had a brief stare down with Cena. Punk can cash in that briefcase anytime. Steamboat receive a ton of love from Cena as the heels were shown taking the walk of shame. Steamboat then took center ring all for himself and celebrated in the ring one more time to cap off his amazing weekend. Cena, Rey, Punk, and Jeff were then shown standing on the entrance ramp giving Ricky a standing ovation. Ricky ran out of the ring and jumped into all of their arms.

WINNERS: Team Steamboat at 15:35 of TV time. Awesome match. Some guys just never lose that in-ring ability to wrestle and Steamboat has it in his bones. As long as he's breathing, he'll be able to tell a story in the ring. Awesome to see him the last two nights. Match had a fun finish to send 'em home happy 45 minutes early. (***1/2)

4 -- SANTINA MARELLA vs. BETH PHOENIX (w/Rosa Mendes)

They came back and aired a WWE.com exclusive of Santino dancing around the ring during the break while Beth just stood there embarrassed. Bell sounded back live and Beth slapped Santino across the chest. Santino tried to use Rosa against Beth, but Beth caught him back in the ring for a powerslam attempt. Santino held onto the top rope, though, and rolled on top of Beth to score a pin for the win.

WINNER: Santina at 1:18. Santino(a) played the comedy role just fine. Classic WWE sketch comedy featuring the absurd and men playing dress-up or being shown wearing off-color underwear to fulfill some sort of strange McMahon preference for filler wrestling segments. (n/a)

5 -- RANDY ORTON vs. VINCE MCMAHON

The bell sounded and McMahon stepped up to Orton for a big open-hand slap. Orton sold like he was shot in the face, then McMahon landed some more blows. He kicked Orton in the gut and the fight spilled to the floor where McMahon continued to dominate. Back in the ring, Orton slipped in a fallaway backbreaker to cut off McMahon. Orton waited for McMahon to slowly get up, then he grappled McMahon and gave him the RKO in center ring. Orton didn't make a cover, though. He waited for McMahon to slowly reach his knees, then Orton lined up McMahon for a Punt, but Shane stormed into the ring and pummeled Orton. Apparently it's No DQ, as the ref let it all go. Cody and Ted then jumped into the ring to attack Shane. Suddenly, Triple H stormed ringside and took out the Two Stooges on the floor. Hunter fought with Orton back in the ring until Cody and Ted jumped Hunter. Match still going on, apparently.

Suddenly, Batista's music hit. Oh snap! Batista came out on stage dressed to wrestle and he stormed the ring to tackle Orton. He cleared the heels, then shook the ropes, as the announcers screamed that "Batista is back!" Cody bailed before he could take a beating, but Hunter threw Cody back into the ring and Shane shoved Cody into Batista for a Batistabomb. Orton and Ted high-tailed it up the stage. Vince then talked from ringside that Batista will be taking his place at Backlash. Batista was pumped up as Orton and Ted bailed to the backstage area. They recapped the ending of the segment to close the show.

WINNER: Who knows in who knows when. Run-in came around 4:30, so we'll go with that, although the match never officially ended. Big surprise for Batista's return, but they're back on the same path of killing Randy Orton's heat. Orton being scripted to sell for McMahon was just as sad as him ridiculously selling SuperShane's punches the night after the Rumble. McMahon Family's over-inflated sense of self on TV defies logic. (1/2*)

What the heck? No focus on Michaels vs. Taker other than a 30-second spot in the middle of the show? That's absurd. I don't want to speculate that Hunter had something to do with this since HBK and Taker stole his WrestleMania moment, but if it smells like chicken and tastes like chicken, then it's chicken.

[Arcademan]

ECW on SciFi Results: 4-7-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1 -- THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON & TYSON KIDD (w/Natalya) vs. EVAN BOURNE & Unified tag team champions PRIMO & CARLITO COLON

Miz took a beating early on, so he tagged out to Kidd, who took out Carlito at the knees. Carlito was isolated in the corner, then he tagged out to Evan Bourne, who came in hot on Morrison. Bourne kicked Morrison in the chest, then ran up on his shoulders to flip him over the top rope to the floor with a nice huracanrana. Bourne escaped Double Trouble on the floor and slipped back into the ring to stand tall going into break.

Back from break, heels were working on Bourne as Mathews & Striker talked about the Draft next Monday. Mathews sounded great on commentary during the Velocity era, but he just sounds a little off his first night back on national TV. Grisham and Striker were just so awesome together on ECW. Match really slowed down as Bourne was isolated to build up to a hot tag to Primo. Kidd also tagged in for the heels and Primo snapped off a round of aerial offense that has made him a stand-out star in recent months. Action broke down and Miz was tossed to the floor. Carlito was tossed out too. Primo then flung Morrison to the outside, leaving himself and Kidd, who missed a top rope splash. Primo then grappled Kidd from behind and nailed the backstabber. Primo hot-tagged to Bourne and he nailed the Shooting Star Press for the pin and the win.

WINNERS: Bourne & Primo & Carlito in 15:00. Solid ECW TV match. Great flurry at the end after a weak mid-portion when Bourne was isolated forever. Bourne's SSP still looks awesome every time he hits it. I'm waiting for Primo's break-out spring 2009. It's time. (**1/2)

2 -- CHRISTIAN vs. TOMMY DREAMER vs. FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas)

Dreamer should be on the advantage since he's the only one who wasn't in MITB on Sunday. They quickly jumped into the match with Christian against Dreamer and Henry against Finlay. They quickly went to a break. Apparently they're in a hurry for the main event tonight.

Back from break, three men executed a suplex on big Mark Henry before shoving him into the ring steps ringside. Apparently they don't want to deal with him until it's absolutely imperative. Striker took us back to last year's Elimination Chase to the ECW Title in the third-person when Tommy Dreamer won the deal before his mammoth man took the spot from Dreamer. Striker was referring to Big Daddy V when he managed him. Mathews and Striker got into their first tiff as the pace picked up in the ring. Hornswoggle then ran interference to help Finlay use a shillelagh against Henry and cover him for the first elimination. Wait, that's it.

WINNER: Finlay in 10:00, Henry eliminated. That was an anti-climatic finish. So, apparently, it's a triple threat match next week and they eliminate another person next week before determining the #1 contender on the final ECW before Backlash. Match was okay, but it wasn't detailed very well to set up the wrong expectations. Mathews and Striker had very little chemistry, by the way. Hard to put together a great combo with no experience working together, but it didn't work tonight. (*1/2)

[Arcademan]

Ring Of Honor TV Results: 4-4-09

Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed to in-ring results.

1 -- STERLING JAMES KEENAN vs. ERICK STEVENS

Stevens landed a series of chops early on, then Keenan cheated to gain the advantage and draw Hogewood's ire on commentary. Stevens tried to regain control as the crowd was virtually taken out of the match. Stevens broke free of a stranglehold submission and nailed an overhead suplex. He followed with the choo-choo splash in the corner before nailing a shoulderblock from the second rope. Everything built to the Doctor Bomb and Stevens nailed it for the win.

WINNER: Stevens at 7:00. Match was designed to showcase Stevens's power offense and introduce him as the powerhouse wrestler in ROH. Just fine, but Stevens needs to find a way to stand out more. (**)

2 -- CHEECH & CLOUDY vs. DARK CITY FIGHT CLUB (JOHN DAVIS & CORY CHAVOUS)

Dark City dominated early until Cloudy snapped off a huracanrana. DC had a mis-communication to set up the opposition for a 619, but it was over quickly thereafter. Cheech took a combo sit-out powerbomb and neckbreaker from DCFC for the win.

WINNERS: DCFC in 3:00. Squash to introduce the Dark City. They have potential, although not much personality that jumps off the screen. Give them time. (3/4*)

3 -- CHRIS HERO (w/Larry Sweeney and Sara Del Rey) vs. NECRO BUTCHER

Sweeney tried to run interference to help out Hero, but Necro kicked out of a pin attempt. Hero threw Necro to the floor and the outside participants put the boots to Necro. Hero played the cocky heel in the ring, much to Hogewood's chagrin. Suddenly, some encouragement from Sweeney to Hero was inserted in between spots as Hero continued to work on Necro. Hero booted Necro in the head and Necro spilled to the floor again. This time, he used a chair for a chairpowerslam on the floor. No word from the announcers on why this was allowed. Sweeney then ran interference to give Hero the loaded elbow pad. Prazak played the devil's advocate on Hero being allowed to use the loaded elbow pad on Necro for the pin and the win. Post-match: They focused on Necro in "The Wrestler."

WINNER: Hero in 8:00. Match continued this week's theme of putting over specific moves, such as the loaded elbow pad in this match. Rules of the match were seemingly tossed out without an explanation, which is befitting of a Necro match. (*1/2)

4 -- AUSTIN ARIES vs. BRYAN DANIELSON

Basic exchange early on between the two ROH all-stars. Prazak referenced Danielson's training background at Shawn Michaels's school back in the day, then both men paused for a staredown after a mat-based exchange. Aries went to work on Danielson as Hogewood cut off Prazak to scream about Aries going after the eyes. That dastardly man! Aries knocked Danielson to the outside, then he nailed a suicide dive on the floor. Back in the ring, Aries continued to work on Danielson. Aries got cocky and Danielson knocked him off the apron to the floor. Danielson then nailed a running knee strike off the apron.

Back in the ring at 10:00, Danielson hit a missile dropkick and another knee strike. He wanted the Cattle Mutilation, but Aries countered with a bridge pin for a two count. Aries wanted to follow with the brainbuster suplex, but Danielson blocked. Aries then slapped on the Last Chancery submission, but Danielson escaped into Undertaker's triangle choke. Aries tried to escape, but he eventually tapped out to give Danielson the victory in the TV main event.

WINNER: Danielson in 14:00. Very good TV main event. Good showcase of Danielson's offense and Aries's personality. Good chemistry between two of ROH's best. Would be nice if ROH tried something new on pro wrestling TV by sticking around after each week's main event for post-match commentary to give each week's main event a little more color. They have done a nice job each week of building up the main event throughout the show, so the only thing missing is post-match follow-up. (***)

[Arcademan]

AAA on Galavision Results: 4-4-09

Results courtesy of Neo-Geo Forum: Official WWE Thread Post #8860. Condnesed here to in-ring results only.

1) El Apache, Fabi Apache & Gato Eveready vs. Billy Boy, Cinthia Moreno & El Orienta
-Only Fall: Women open the match with fast paced moves, followed by the speed of Gato and Oriental. Apache snaps and begins to slap everyone, including Gato, and this leads to the triple team ambush by the rudos. Billy brings out two chairs to punish Apache, but Fabi makes the save with a hard kick. Apache makes a huge comeback with a Crossbody on Billy, and he now uses the chairs on his son-in-law. Billy takes the chairs back, and targets Apache's leg. Apache is hurt, and medical staff help him out. Billy continues to attack Apache, even when he is taken on a stretcher. Fabi finally makes the comeback with fast paced moves, but Billy stops her. Billy connects with a suicide dive on Gato. Oriental attempts a Vader Bomb, but Fabi lifts her knees. Oriental accidentally kicks his sister, and Fabi rolls him up for the three count.
Winners: El Apache, Fabi Apache & Gato Eveready

2) La Hermandad (Joe Lider & Nicho El Millonario) vs. Mexican Powers (Crazy Boy & Ultimo Gladiador)
-Only Fall: When these two teams mix up, there is a carnival of botched moves all over the place. Crazy hits an Asai Moonsault on both heels. Nicho hits a Frankensteiner on Gladiador, to the outside. They acutally did a sick combo of a Superplex, a Back Suplex, and a Powerbomb, which looked botched but pretty awesome. Nicho gets a huge Corskcrew Crossbody from Gladiador. Crazy gets tons of falls, but the referee counts slowly. Lider lowblows Crazy, but the referee ignores it, and makes the three count.
Winners: Joe Lider & Nicho El Millonario

3) D-Generation MEX (X-Pac & Alex Koslov) vs. Hart Foundation 2.0 (Jack Evans & Teddy Hart w/Nikki)
-Only Fall: Koslov and Teddy kick off with fantastic technical moves. Evans and Waltman tag in, but Teddy gets himself tagged in for the double team assault. Koslov makes the comeback with a Springboard Elbow, and mocks Evans. Koslov delivers another Springboard Elbow on Evans, but this time on the outside. Waltman lands outside, and Teddy gets them with a Springboard Moonsault, followed by the Cartwheel Dive by Evans. The Harts get back in control of the match, with tons of aerial moves. Koslov even receives the American Tower Assault, which always looks sick. Evans mistakenly hits Diving Knees on Teddy, and the comeback begins, after a huge Superkick by Koslov, and a series of karate kicks from Waltman. Both Harts are taken out with a Hilo from Waltman, but Nikki gets involved again. Waltman connect with a top rope X-Factor on Teddy, but Nikki attempts to use her chest as a distraction again. Evans accidentally hits Nikki, and Waltman rolls him for a two count. Nikki gets an Enzuigiri from Koslov, and a Bronco Buster from Waltman. Teddy takaes advantage of the distraction to pin Koslov, after a sick Backcraker. Awesome match, but the Nikki factor dragged it down again.
Winners: Jack Evans & Teddy Hart

4) Silver King, Electroshock & Zorro vs. La Parka, Charlie Manson & Abismo Negro (R.I.P.)
-Only Fall: Match starts fait, but it turns into the classic TV main event, where the Legion ambushes the tecnicos for several minutes. Comeback begins, with aerial attacks from Manson. Parka brawls with Silver, and both brothers deal with each other as well. Inside the ring, Zorro makes Abismo submit ot the Zorro Stretch (manuever was named by me).
Winners: Silver King, Electroshock & Zorro

5) Mesias vs. Chessman & Konnan
-Only Fall: Mesias is rapidly ambushed by both Chessman and Konnan. Mesias makes the comeback with a clothesline to Konnan, but Chessman gives him a DDT. Chessman pins Mesias, after a Chair Legdrop.
Winners: Chessman & Konnan

[Arcademan]

TNA Impact! Results: 4-9-09

Results courtesy of ProWrestling.net (direct link to Powell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1. Sheik Abdul Bashir (w/Kiyoshi, No Limit) defeated Suicide in a non-title match in 4:00. Bashir tossed Suicide to ringside early. One of the No Limit members attacked him and threw him back inside the ring while the ref was distracted. Later, Kiyoshi entered the ring and kicked Suicide while the referee was distracted. Bashir DDT'd Suicide on the X Division Title belt and scored the pin. West played dumb about the belt on commentary. Afterward, the lights went out and when they came back on Suicide was gone...

Powell's POV: Mixed emotions on this result. Bashir needs some wins, but Suicide is showing signs of getting over and should continue to build momentum. It just feels like it's too soon for him to be losing matches.

2. Samoa Joe beat Booker T (w/Kurt Angle) in 1:50. Joe attacked Booker to start the match and maintained control of the offense until Angle reached in and tripped him. Angle handed Booker a chair, but Styles ran out, took away the chair, and attacked Booker. A short time later, Joe powerslammed Booker and scored the pin. Joe didn't look happy that Styles helped him. The series to determine which Lockdown team has the advantage is now tied 1-1...

Powell's POV: It's nice to see Joe get a win rather than the DQ stuff he's been doing, but Booker kinda looks like a ***** for losing in less than two minutes when he was trying to avenge his wife. They are doing a good job of establishing tension between the babyface team heading into the Lethal Lockdown match.

3. James Storm (w/Robert Roode) defeated Scott Steiner (w/Kevin Nash) by DQ in 4:25. Team 3D sat in on commentary to hype their pay-per-view match against Team 3D. Late in the match, Nash struck Storm with a lead pipe for the DQ. Team 3D ran in to scare off the Mafia, just as Beer Money saved them last week. West stole the moment by talking smack about Team 3D once they left the broadcast table...

4. Awesome Kong beat Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky (w/Velvet Sky) in a handicap match in 1:20. Kong went for the Awesome Bomb, but Rayne pushed Sky onto the Knockouts Champ. Rayne turned her head thinking the match was over, but Kong hooked Rayne's shoulders with her legs and scored the pin. Afterward, the BP tried to cut Kong's hair, but Taylor Wilde ran out for the save...

5. The Motor City Machine Guns defeated Mick Foley in a first blood handicap match to retain the New Japan Jr. Tag Team Titles in 9:30. Foley brought his barbwire baseball bat to the ring with him. As Foley walked to the ring, he exchanged a quick face-to-face glance with Sting, who is at ringside as the special enforcer referee.

West pointed out that he's never seen the Guns bleed in all the time they've been in TNA. Sabin dropkicked Foley on the floor, and then the Guns followed up with a double suicide dive that knocked Foley into the guardrail.

Powell's POV: Funny line about the Guns never bleeding. They caught a bunch of hell from TNA management for refusing to blade during an angle with Team 3D months ago. They story goes that they've never bladed before and objected to bleeding in that angle. They were in the doghouse for months.

After the break, Sabin mocked Sting, who responded by pulling him to ringside and delivering the Scorpion Death Drop. Foley hit the double-arm DDT on Sabin and applied the Mandible Claw with a sock on his hand. The referee noticed blood on the white sock and tried to call for the bell, but Foley stopped him and the match continued.

Foley walked over and picked up a microphone. He said blood on the sock is not what he promised. He said he promised to bust Shelley open. "Shelley, I'm going to make you suffer," Foley said. Mick picked up the barbwire baseball bat and brought inside the ring with him. He started to rake the bat over Shelley's head, but Sting stood up and struck Foley with a chair. Foley bled and the referee named the Guns the winners.

After the match, Foley and Sting had a pull-apart brawl to close the show...

Powell's POV: The main event would have done more for Shelley had he worked a singles match against Foley. Working a handicap match against Foley and needing help from Sting didn't make the Guns look strong. The finish was cheap, but it served as solid hype for Sting vs. Foley. The show is improving, but they need to add good, meaningful matches to the mix. Four minutes of wrestling in the first hour just isn't enough.

[Arcademan]

WWE Smackdown Results: 4-10-09

Results courtesy of ProWrestling.net (direct link to Shore's complete results). Condensed here to in-ring results only.

1. Big Show defeated Kofi Kingston at 3:28. The announce team put over Show as being pissed off. Kofi tried to lame *** handstand/kick things and on the second one, Show stomped on his head. Kofi escaped Show and managed to get a couple of kicks in, and then Show chopped him and the beat down began. Show hit a Camel Clutch slam which woke up Kingston. Kingston hit a couple of dropkicks until Show swatted one away and retook control. Kingston kicked Show as he charged into the corner, hit a missile dropkick, and finally dropped Show with another dropkick. He hit his signature leg drop and the climbed the ropes again. Show punched him out of the air for the win. Post match, a video replay showed the high spots…

Shore’s Slant: That’s first time I remember ever really paying attention to Kingston in an interview. Why isn’t this guy pushed? He can wrestle his *** off and he’s better than most on the mic. WTF? JJ Dillon talked about the lack of young talent, but it seems to me young talent never gets a chance so that’s kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy isn’t it? And for the record, how awesome was it when Steamboat and Flair locked up. For a split second I was 12 again and that was cool.

2. The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh defeated Santiono Marella at 0:26. Punjabi Plunge. Pin. That’s it…

Shore’s Slant: I swear to God I am not going to cover Khali and Santino Marella making out. You sick bastards. I’d rather see Edge and Vickie do it than those two kiss.

3. Gail Kim defeated Michelle McCool at 2:54. McCool attacked Kim at the bell and then it got bad. Lots of missed spots. Maryse was shown watching on a monitor backstage. McCool got the better of Kim and drover her to the floor and kicked her against the wall. She rolled Kim back in and missed a leg drop. Kim hulked up and hit a flying cross body for two. McCool rolled out from an elbow drop from the top. She went to cover and Kim rolled her up for the win…

Shore’s Slant: McCool needs to go away for a while as she is completely uninspired. She looks aloof and was the problem with that match. She couldn’t keep up with Kim. That should have been good, but McCool made it awful. Tough break for Kim.

4. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase defeated Carlito and Primo Colon at 9:14. DiBiase and Carlito started out. The announce team pointed out that Legacy has a title shot at Backlash. DiBiase and Rhodes worked quickly in and out on Carlito. Carlito dodged an elbow drop and tagged in Primo. He power bombed Primo onto Rhodes for a two count. Carlito tagged back in and Rhodes hit a chin buster. Legacy tried to double clothesline Carlito but he ducked and hit his back springboard elbow on them both. Primo ran in and they clotheslined Legacy over the top. DiBiase ran back in and Carlito back dropped him. DiBiase backed into a corner as the show went to commercial…

Back from commercial and Rhodes worked on Primo. Rhodes and DiBiase again tagged in and out quickly. Rhodes hooked in an abdominal stretch and Primo reversed into a hip toss. Rhodes charged and Primo tossed him over the top. DiBiase rolled Rhodes back in, but Primo got the hot tag and Carlito wrecked Rhodes. Carlito dropkicked DiBiase to the floor and climbed the ropes. DiBiase pulled Carlito off the rope and Rhodes hit his finisher, Cross Rhodes, for the win. DiBiase got a cheap shot on Primo and hit his finisher, Dream Street. They beat on the champs and Randy Orton came to the ring and kicked the champs a little. The group posed in the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: A solid, but uneventful match. That’s good, they managed to peak my interest and not give it all away. This ought to be pretty good after a month working house shows to get it right. This is a true heel stable for now. Evolution got cheers from the second it formed and never really felt healish whenever Flair was involved. He’s loved too much. But fans hate these guys, which they should. They could build several new faces with the heat they generate.

5. Matt Hardy defeated Jeff Hardy in a Stretcher Match in 15:15. Matt charged in and Jeff side stepped him and took control. They tumbled to ringside and the stretcher fun began. Jeff tried, and failed to suplex Matt onto a stretcher. Matt regained control and took the action back to the ring. Matt tried a suplex, but Jeff reversed into a front suplex. Matt reversed a move into a Side Effect.

He rolled the stretcher to the ring and placed Jeff on it. He got the first two wheels across the line and Jeff kicked him in the face. He rolled off the stretcher and clotheslined Matt. Jeff rolled the stretcher to the top of the ramp and surfed it down and jumped off to tackle Matt in a very cool spot to go into commercial…

Back at the 7:08 mark and Matt whipped Jeff who tackled Matt. He picked up Matt for a front atomic drop, but Matt locked in a weird submission move. Matt put Jeff on the stretcher and made it to the bottom of the ramp when Jeff fought out. Jeff whipped Matt into the stairs and both rested for a moment. Jeff got up and put Matt on the stretcher and got to the ramp but Matt slid out. They fought across the stretcher until Jeff fell down. He tried to run over Jeff’s head with the stretcher but Jeff moved. Matt rolled him back in the ring and set the stretcher up at ringside.

Matt got a chair but Jeff hit it into Matt’s head. Matt dropped the chair on the stretcher and Jeff punched him until he fell back onto the chair and stretcher. Matt rolled off and was holding onto the bottom of the stretcher. Jeff hit a leg drop onto the top of the stretcher, ramming the stretcher into Matt’s face. Jeff placed Matt on the stretcher, face down, and rammed it into the corner, sending Matt flying. He placed Matt back on the stretcher and climbed to the top rope. He went for the Swanton and Matt moved. Holy Shit. Matt rolled Jeff up the ramp. He had to stop a few times to punch Jeff before crossing the line and winning. Matt celebrated and kicked the stretcher. Jeff rolled all the way to the ring before slamming to a stop…

Shore’s Slant: Wow, Smackdown was better than Raw this week. That match was better than their Mania match in my opinion. Great hot spots and Jeff Hardy is a fool. No way I dive onto a stretcher. Wow. Solid, solid show and I hope this continues after the draft.

[Arcademan]